While Walking - A Spiritual Practice

It's been fun!

2011-05-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

This is my last blog entry as President of First Unitarian Church of Wilmington. It's been a great ride. Thanks to all of you who have ventured into the blog world with me.

Below are my thoughts for the future, from my address at the Annual Meeting on Sunday.

Think about why you came to this church for the very first time. People show up at churches because something is happening in their lives that they want to change. What was happening in your life that brought you through our doors – and why did you stay? What if we were to lose everything that we think of as "our church"—the staff, the programs, this sanctuary, our building? Would you be motivated to start over with the people who are sitting beside you? Would you find another church? Would you choose not to go to church at all?

Answering “why?” to these questions will help bring clarity to our mission. Our reason to exist in this community must be compelling and full of purpose. What is so powerful and strong within our covenant to each other that we would go through pain and struggle to get there – even to rebuild? Who would we want by our side?

We must build a bridge from our faith to those people outside our four walls – what David Owen O’Quill describes as “who our heart breaks for”. When we can name these people we seek to reach, we will begin to understand our congregation’s unique, focused mission and priorities; a mission we can fail at – and one worth picking up the pieces to try again.

What about being welcoming to all? While we are sincere when we say we welcome all, we know that not all people embrace the Unitarian Universalist faith. And not all Unitarian Universalists will find First U their church home if our actions and programs don’t match their passions for church. Each UU church has a unique culture. There is nothing wrong with naming our culture. With becoming who we truly are.

This year I joined with other adults and youth on the Youth Adult Team, my commitment last year at the annual meeting. Our role is to help envision the youth experience here at First U and to carry it out, partnering with Catherine. My experience with these young people was nothing short of amazing. Why am I drawn to our youth? My children grew up in this church. They are each exceptionally bright, promising, articulate – some of them eccentric. AND each of them, like many, struggled to find their place in the world as teenagers. In this place, they were not just allowed – but encouraged – to be themselves and explore their beliefs; they had a voice – in their classroom, in the choir, in front of this congregation – a voice that mattered to you, that inspired you and expanded your own thinking. They were embraced by this community where they did not fear judgment for what they believed. It is the same today. Our youth have a strong need to explore their spirituality – and to stand side-by-side with you in fun and in service to our community. My heart breaks for those youth and young adults in our broader community who are in need of such an open and accepting religious community in a world of ever-expanding fundamentalist values. I would build my bridge to them and work to become relevant for their generation.

Your board believes that it’s time for all of us to participate in envisioning our mission. It’s something that will come from our hearts, not from a committee writing a statement. We will know it when we see it—and we will strive for it with our hearts, minds, and hands. So today, as I leave the presidency and the board, I’d like you to begin a new conversation with yourself and the people who are sitting around you every Sunday.

Who is it that your heart breaks for? Said another way, who would you build a bridge to and have sit side-by-side with you for worship and work side-by-side with you to fulfill First Unitarian Church’s mission? Be specific—and make it personal. What is the bridge you are called upon to build? What is it that you must do to be at peace with yourself? Who is it that your heart breaks for?

I hope you will contemplate these questions with the Board and let them know how you would answer.

It has been an honor to serve as a board member for the past six years and as your President for the past three. When I first joined the board, we were in the first of three interim years while we searched for a new settled Sr. Minister and we were a congregation in turmoil. We have come so far and are now a congregation in covenant with each other. The future is ours to create. Let’s honor our past and create a future that is relevant for the next generation of UU’s – full of life – focused with purpose – and from the words of Rev. Fred Muir, provides spiritual grounding so we can do the work of justice. I have loved the work of the Board – policy governance and all. Thank you all for your trust and your commitment to this church.

In faith,

Nancy

Soma and You - Making a Difference for Future Generations

2011-03-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

Meet Soma – an artist we visited in a small village in Tanzania. Soma works hard to support his family, which includes his mother. They live together on the same property – and he is so proud that he has been able to build a home just for his mother. It has two rooms – and it has an adjoining structure that one day he will be able to afford to finish, and connect with a door. We listened as he described with pride how he is building his family a new latrine – including a stall for a shower. As he earns enough money, he’ll be able to complete it, and replace the old latrine which is falling down. The buildings are made from bricks he has made himself. He is not a wealthy man – and he gives of his treasure for others.

Soma is one of several generous people we met in our travels. An artist by trade, he has opened an art school for children of his village tolearn to draw and paint. For these students, there is no charge; they could not afford to pay for art training. Rather, he supplies the paints and materials for them so that they have a chance to see if art is their passion. The children are so proud of their drawings and eagerly showed them to the travelers – and they can also offer them for sale for $1 each. The money goes back in to purchasing supplies, as well as things they need for everyday living. Soma – giving back to the community from his passion for art, building for the next generation, supporting the previous generation – an amazing story of generosity.

Likewise, our vision for First U is not limited to feeding our own spiritual hungers. Included are the broader visions of being a religion that will live on for generations to come, “transforming the world in large and small ways” as Josh speaks about on March 20. I am so grateful to have found Unitarian Universalism, founded in Wilmington in 1866 as the First Unitarian Society of Wilmington. What started as a conversation between Mr. and Mrs. Charles P. Bent and Thomas Y. de Normandie, who had Unitarianism in common, developed into the church we love today. Seventeen people signed the initial document establishing our church. And from their vision, with Rev. Fielder Israel as their first minister, a church was born – and grew. We have an interesting history – one you can read in our pamphlet written and researched by Ariana Pagones Langford and Jeanette Webber and published in 1991 for our 125th anniversary.

So many of us are engaged in our individual personal lives in making a difference in the world. I believe we can continue that service AND work together in the name of Unitarian Universalism and First U. First U is striving to continue to be a loving, welcoming church community supporting individual spiritual growth – AND an inspirational beacon and powerhouse for social justice. We seek to be a unifying force and a powerful partner and promoter of interfaith harmony, world peace and environmental sustainability – in other words, a vibrant, religious movement. Like my artist friend Soma, we are building for future generations, as our church today was built for us by previous generations. To accomplish this and move beyond basic operational funding, it takes all of us and our generosity of time and treasure.

First U began for me as a Sunday morning experience – a service I was amazed to hear and a religion I didn't realize existed. Today – and for many years – it is much more than Sunday morning. Over the years, by putting our church first, Paul and I have been able to reach our goal of giving a full 10% of our gross income to support the operations of our church. We have included First U in our estate plan so that our pledge will live on beyond us. And, at the same time, we have also been able to increase our support to other organizations close to our hearts. Generosity breeds generosity. Like Soma and so many others of little means as well as those like us who are lucky to have more, please consider your gift generously as you take part in making a difference for today's and future generations.

In faith,

Nancy

Making Music Together

2011-02-24T08:49:00.000-08:00

A cheetah perched atop a termite mound – muscles tense, eyes piercing through the acres of golden grasses. A beautiful animal in the narrow focus of the camera – and yet there’s no mistaking the story that is about to unfold – the bigger context of the cycle of life in the Serengeti.

A magnificent tree – fascinating to my artist’s eye for the tunnel that has perforated the massive trunk. The larger context tells us that the tree bark provides moisture for the enormous elephants that share the land, as well as a scratching post for their tough skin. Nature’s way.

Over and over again, listening from a perspective of “not knowing”, there was so much to learn about life and relationships while we were in Africa in December. It helps that I had little actual knowledge about Tanzania before I arrived there, although I brought with me my limited experience of life from my sheltered life in the US. While I might be able to understand, intellectually, when have I ever felt in my being the critical role that animal dung plays in the cycle of life: notice of animals that have passed through, signaling possible danger, healing power, fuel for fire, warm homes for beetle’s eggs, and more? This was just one minor example of many spiritual lessons I learned in the context of survival in Africa.

There is so much we can learn by broadening our perspective – viewing life circumstances from the larger whole. The same is true of our conversations with each other. In February, our ministers chose “Deep Listening” as our theme to consider, and we delved more deeply into this in our Open Circles. How often do we enter into conversation with each other with our own agendas, barely hearing what the other has to say in our rush to be heard ourselves? Or leaping to solve another’s problem when they actually only wanted to speak out loud as they sorted through their thoughts? As Rev. Josh referenced St. Francis and Steven Covey in his sermon on February 6th, deep listening “is the spiritual practice of seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.” At St. John’s College where our daughter Laura attended, the rule in the classroom is that a student’s contribution to the discussion must build on the previous student’s thoughts, forcing “being in one conversation”, to quote my friend Dianne Collins, instead of focusing on one’s own agenda. Laura was encouraged to come to the table without having it “all figured out” so she would be open to new possibilities.

This spring – as most years – we’ll have plenty of opportunity for deep listening as we consider topics of importance for our church. We’ll entertain and vote on changes in our bylaws. We’ll tell our stories of what’s important to us as we consider our financial support for the future. We’ll be clarifying our mission – and deciding how we can best put that mission into action. What is the larger context within which we engage these important conversations? How do we remind ourselves to seek to understand, first and be prepared to embrace new possibilities? As Dianne says, “Communication resides in the relationship between one person and another. Communication is not a thing. It is an amorphous living presence that exists in the ether, like music”. When we listen with our whole being in the context of making a difference together, we’ll make music together.

In Faith,

Nancy

Connections and the difference we make

2010-11-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

Every winter for the past several winters I have spent some time with my parents in Perdido Key, Florida. While there I take long walks on the deserted beach, rejuvenating and enjoying the solitude. I am struck by the numbers and diversity of shells that wash up on the shore and it reminds me of the interconnectedness of all in this world of ours and the importance of our connections with each other and with those in our community we haven't yet met.

Last Sunday (11/14) many of you participated in a quick survey the board was taking to find out your responses to the following questions:

What is the most important difference Unitarian Universalism has made in your life?
What do you want First U to be recognized for in the future?

I was not surprised to see that connection plays a role in your responses to both of these questions. Here’s what you said, in summary. We value spiritual freedom and religious choice, as well as enrichment and personal growth. We value the open-mindedness of Unitarian Universalism and our respect for all. The community we have found in this spiritual home has made a significant difference in our lives; we value the sense of belonging, inclusiveness and compassion we feel here and are inspired by our fellow members. We value our children and hope that our church is one that is as welcoming to youth and young adults as it is to our older members. Additionally, our hopes for the future are that we continue to be a loving, welcoming church community supporting individual’s spiritual growth; that we are an inspirational beacon and powerhouse for social justice, a religiously unifying force and a powerful partner and promoter of interfaith harmony, world peace and environmental sustainability – a vibrant, growing church.

The words in bold were among the most used words in your responses. Check out the Board Bulletin Board in the parish hall to see a visual of the words you used and your specific responses in detail. We will continue to explore your responses with you as we assess our goals for the next few years. In the meantime, there's no reason we can't be all of these things. Our ministers recently rolled out a transformed program for community action – the Ministry of Compassionate Action. It's mission is transforming Wilmington into a just, loving and sustainable community. This is a minstry that calls for personal connections and recalls the words of Rebecca Parker,

“Your gifts — whatever you discover them to be — can be used to bless or curse the world. You must answer this question: What will you do with your gifts? Choose to bless the world. None of us alone can save the world. Together — that is another possibility waiting.”

In support of our ministry in the community and the world, the Board will focus on incarnational growth in December - how we make a difference in the world. Should our church take official stands on social issues of concern? Which ones, and how can we be inclusive of those in our church who may have a different opinion. Currently, board policy requires approval for such stands before our ministers or others can speak on behalf of the church - although ministers do have freedom of the pulpit. This is a tricky issue - and something you should talk to us about.

In Faith,

Nancy

The Road to Growth - Untraveled Paths?

2010-10-25T17:15:00.000-07:00

At our October meeting, the board began the first of three monthly discussions on growth. We’re reading Loren Mead’s book, “More Than Numbers: The Way Churches Grow”. Despite the title, our focus in October was our numbers – from a variety of perspectives. This was to give us some grounding in our history for the past 50 years, with a specific interest in who we are today. As Mead tells us, “any human institution that does not develop an effective method of recruiting new membership (and leadership) will die.” In November and December we’ll talk more about other ways we grow – spiritually, organizationally, and in our commitment to others outside our four walls.

It will not come as a surprise to any of you reading that most of our congregation is older than 65 – and 85% of us are older than 45. This is not bad or good – just is. What is a positive sign, however, is that our church demographics in terms of length of membership fall into a common pattern of most people being either relatively new (0 – 10 years) or long time (>20) members. This bi-modal pattern can be a sign of a healthy congregation as new members are continuing to join. The challenge we face, as do other churches like us, demographically, is that the value-systems that were established from life lessons differ in some significant ways between our newest and long time members and naturally lead to different ideas about what’s important and how to achieve it. This is not a problem to be fixed – but a challenge none-the-less as we seek out ways to be in community and spirit together.

Also no surprise, membership has been declining since the early 1990’s – reflecting the aging community we live in. During this time we have seen schools close as the younger population decreases and since 2000 we have had no growth in the communities of our biggest membership draw – and in fact a slight decrease. This poses a challenge to us for membership growth, as our long range planning team pointed out to us last year. Still, we are seeing many new faces come through the door. In fact, new members are on the rise since 2005. Average attendance is around 180 – nearing the 80% capacity point where the sanctuary is considered full. This is a good feeling.

What does this all mean? That’s the subject of the next few months – and of our conversations with you. For sure we know we will travel on new and exciting paths as we move forward. As Paul and I were recently walking through Hitchcock Woods in Aiken, South Carolina, the many forks in the path we were on reminded me of Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken. I believe our travels together as a congregation will lead us to new places along untraveled paths – and they will make a difference not only for us but for the greater community in which we make our home.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

In faith,

Nancy

Butterflies, Photos and Us

2010-09-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

We were recently driving along the Blue Ridge Parkway, taking a break from the stress and hustle-bustle of interstate traffic. It wasn’t the same as walking through the forests or along the beach, but was a good alternative, when driving was the mode of transportation for the day. You might say I was transformed by the experience. Stopping at pull-offs along the way, camera in hand to capture the beauty of the mountains of North Carolina, a short hike to a new vantage point - I felt different; more relaxed, happier, freer. Same trip - new context – new sense of being.

Transformation – a word we hear a lot these days. What does it mean, really? I usually think about transformation as bringing something new into existence – like a butterfly, created anew from a caterpillar. In its new form, come new possibilities. Like wings to fly. A new existence. A different existence. It doesn’t take anything away from the caterpillar – it’s just different. I see it happen in my photography, too. A photo of berries in the brush along the road is just another nice picture, but move a few inches and catch the blues and purples of the mountains in the background – an image transformed. Same berries – same brush – new context – new vision emerged.

The Board is beginning a 6-month discussion about who we are as a congregation; about the growth we have experienced – and haven’t. About our purpose together – all of us. Our goal is to take a fresh look at our vision of the future and we need you. In a time when more and more people are choosing not to attend a church of any kind, when people don’t even know much about their own religions, according to a recent Pew study, you choose to belong. And you choose this church, our church.

We have the same name as we always have. We’re in the same building in the same neighborhood as we have been since the 60’s. More than half of us – myself included – have been members more than twenty years. And the world around us has changed. New context. New congregation. Not better – not worse – just different. What is the story of our congregation at this time in our history? What is our growth story? What do we mean by growth? It’s more than numbers the Board is reminded by Loren Mead in his book we are reading.

We want to hear from you why you choose to belong, why you give your time and resources. When we distinguish – and are clear about - who we are today, we will be ready to transform ourselves as a congregation and will be ready to own our future and the many possibilities it presents. As we celebrate who we have been, we welcome who we will become.

In Faith,

Nancy

Now we Gather

2010-09-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

Paul and I spent a couple of hours yesterday walking around Longwood Gardens – always a beautiful place to be any time of year. The air was crisp, there was quite a breeze, and there were a few clouds in the sky, but no rain. Besides walking, I was there to learn more about the settings on my camera and play with a new lens. We started by checking out the sunflower fields that I read about in the paper in the morning. Just down the road from the main entrance there are acres and acres of sunflowers in full bloom at this special time of year of ingathering. Wow – you couldn’t help but be happy around all those sunshiny faces, nodding to each other in the wind, happily greeting the bees who came to taste what they had to offer. There was a steady stream of people gathering to take in the beauty of it all - old people, young people, families with children – smiling, chatting, walking in wonder through the field, in search of the perfect photo.

It’s not so different from church, is it? On Sunday, we’ll be gathering once again. I look forward to seeing your sunshiny faces there, welcoming each other, nodding and chatting with each other, meeting new people who have been drawn to this spiritual home of seekers we love. I hope that you come with great hopes and dreams of who we must be in the world – and that you share them with me and the others on our board.

See you in church!

In faith,

Nancy

Envisioning the BEST YEAR EVER

2010-09-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

I finally got out my bicycle last week for the first time this year, and have added biking to my short list of spiritual practices. Riding away from the traffic can be just as spiritually fulfilling as walking – although harder to take photos! While biking on Tuesday, I was reflecting on the theme of “building bridges” that came up during a retreat I participated in on the last Saturday in August with one of our exceptional church teams. We were working on our plans for the upcoming church year, talking about our promises to each other and envisioning what a BEST YEAR EVER would be. Before considering what we might do, we considered how we would feel in June next year, what we would have experienced, what we learned, what difference we would have made together, if it had been the BEST YEAR EVER in our church. The vision this team held was truly inspiring to me. It went something like this.

“Imagine it’s June and it’s been the BEST YEAR EVER. I’m bringing my friends to church because…

I have experienced what it’s like to be part of a “second family” who includes me, respects me and cares for me just as I am, no matter what I believe. In this home, I don’t have to hide my feelings and I can share them without fear of judgment.
I have learned how Unitarian Universalism impacts my daily life, raising my awareness of my own values, helping me to clarify my own goals and developing new ideas that launch me into the world with newly gained confidence. I have learned about other religions and beliefs, and because of it I know myself better and am more prepared to engage with others in the world that are different from me.
I have experienced many different spiritual practices, which have helped me in my own search for what is right for me in my spiritual growth. I can safely ask “who am I” while engaging with others who are asking the same question.
I have helped to make a difference in the community outside our church, helping our church to have an identity beyond ourselves.
I feel connected – to others in my group, to the broader church community, and to the community outside our church.
I have had fun, danced, sung, experienced great music – and experienced the holy.

It’s a powerful vision and I’m blessed to be a part of it.

Did I mention that this team was the Youth Ministry Team – a team of our high school youth leaders and their adult co-leaders and advisors, along with our DRE, Catherine Williamson? Our youth are enthusiastic about creating a deep and enriching experience at church. They have a clear vision of our purpose as a church and the difference it makes in their lives and the lives of others. We sang “Building Bridges” and talked about ways for the youth to connect with the rest of the church community – as well as those outside our church. Wonderful!

So, imagine its June 2011 and it’s been the BEST YEAR EVER? Why are YOU bringing YOUR friends to church? Let a board member know – it’s important.

In faith,

Nancy

Destiny and Purpose

2010-08-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

What is your destiny? Do you even believe in destiny? I don’t mean fate or predetermination. By destiny I mean the path your life has taken and continues to take. As my friend and teacher Dianne Collins says, “Something taps you on the shoulder and says ‘let’s go’”. And what about your purpose – your “job” in life? Some may name it their “calling”. Aren’t we UU’s all about meaning and purpose in life? I recently explored the concepts of destiny, purpose and passion in Dianne’s program – the one I mentioned in my previous blog postings. According to Dianne, you don’t always necessarily live your destiny; the path is in there, you can take the path and the opportunities will be there for action, and yet you don’t take those opportunities. You may even be avoiding it as Jean de la Fontaine said, “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” In order to live your purpose, you may need to drop some things out of your life – they just aren’t appropriate for the time. We need a clear mind for this self reflection – our respective spiritual practices serve us well to help.

In church on Sunday, 8/15, Scott had Miriam read excerpts from Spirit and Song. Each quote she read was in its own way a description of the author’s destiny or purpose: “I must create; music pursues me; I cannot help but…”. For some their destiny was obvious at a young age – and they jumped on the path and ran with it. For others, it may not be so clear – or they skirt along the edges of the path without fully embracing all that it has to offer.

How do you know what your purpose is? I’ve learned to ask these questions to help distinguish it – “What are you drawn to? What engages you? What do people come to you for, over and over?” If you think through your life, you can begin to see the patterns – the path your life has taken. When I look back – even into my childhood – I discover how I have been drawn to projects that match my passions – and also help me build my skills; many times I have led an initiative for the first time. I’m a “visual” person and must explore and create visually – whether with pencil and paper, my camera on a walk through a forest, or a chart pad and set of markers to help frame a discussion. I am also drawn to connect with others, often through leadership but just as often these days for relationship building. People say they come to me for perspective – a chance to test ideas and broaden their thinking; for a calming influence; and because I commit and get things done. These all help to distinguish my purpose and destiny.

Distinguishing my destiny – the path I’m on – and my purpose is really a work in progress; and in fact the path can change through life; it’s something to stay conscious of along the way. For now, I’ve decided it’s something like a connection between my leadership and the creation process – bringing the creativity out in others, whether it be through my photography projects or church work or other life activities. The people I engage with grow – perhaps gain new perspectives and achieve things they didn’t know they could – and I grow through the experience with them.

What about a congregation? Can a congregation have a destiny? A purpose? Are there opportunities that present themselves along the way that such a group – like ours – steps up to? Or ignores? What shows up for us over and over? What is our “must do”? How can we be crystal clear about our purpose for this time and this place and ensure that each of us holds it in our consciousness as the context for everything we do at church? What must we give up in order to fully live our purpose? This is one of the actions the Board and Executive Team have selected for this year. It’s not about rewriting our mission – although we are likely to find clarity of mission along the way. It’s about consciously living our mission – our purpose – together, in everything we do.

So – as you quiet your mind through your own personal spiritual practice, what comes up for you? In a single sentence, what do you think our congregation’s unique purpose is? How do we keep this front and center and live our purpose? What must we give up? Share your thoughts in the comments below, share it with a Board member – or your team members, and come to a discussion this year and let us hear what’s in your heart.

In Faith,

Nancy

Beginning the new church year

2010-08-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all of you who have been reading my blog – and who are still here! It’s been a while since I wrote something. You can be assured, however, that the Board is hard at work over the summer. Our focus in July and August has been reviewing the bylaws with the goal of addressing changes that reflect reality for today and into the future. We will be bringing our proposed changes to the congregation for discussion in the coming months.

We held our annual leadership planning retreat with the Board and Executive Team on Friday and Saturday of this past weekend to identify key initiatives to work on over the next one to three years – along with all the usual work of the Board. Beginning on Friday with an engaging discussion based on the book, “Serving with Grace: Lay Leadership as a Spiritual Practice” by Erik Walker Wikstrom, we entered into a very purposeful Saturday planning session. Coming out of that meeting we will be continuing our exploration of congregational growth and the interim steps we need to take along the way as well as how we can become a more mission-focused congregation. More on that to come.

I must admit, my walks have been few and far between this summer. Alas, I am a fair weather walker. I’ve tried walking in the heat of the summer – and I have tried walking in a blizzard. Neither was really effective at helping me to still my mind. I realize if I am to stay spiritually centered, I must have more than one practice in my spiritual toolkit. And so I am “trying on” other practices to see how they fit.

I participated in a 3-month long program this summer with about 20 others via audio conference on mastery of the mind and applying the principles to accomplishing our passions. Fascinating stuff –amazing people! One of the key concluding points of the program was “You have to be in a state of calm to be able to create anything. It’s that simple.” Getting to that state of calm is what I’m doing on my walks or when I'm looking at a beautiful landscape like the almost-midnight sun I experienced while in Norway; it’s what some do through meditation and others do through writing or music – or whatever resonates. You may have noticed “UU 201” mentioned in a recent eNews. It's an offering at our church on Sunday mornings this fall where members of our congregation will talk about how their spiritual practices connect them to their own faith as UUs. I’ve been invited to share my experience and thoughts – hope to see you there!

In faith,

Nancy

Noticing our Habits - Shaping our Experience

2010-06-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, my friend Cindy and I decided to walk the labyrinth at the Delaware Art Museum. It was a nice evening – warm enough but with a breeze that was very comfortable. I don’t remember walking a labyrinth before – so I didn’t really know what to expect. But I sensed that others found the experience a very spiritual one and I was ready to have the same. I was happy to see that we were the only ones walking it that evening – leaving us to experience it without distraction. Or so I thought.

It’s amazing how we create our own distractions simply through our habits which shape our experience of life. This happens to me all the time in my Step class. I’m bouncing along to the music, happy to be moving, proud of myself for picking up the steps, mostly effortlessly, and amazed that pretty much everyone in the room is doing the same thing. The instructor is shouting out “don’t think!” as if thinking is a barrier to success in the class. And then my mind wanders. “What’s on my list of things to do this afternoon? I wonder if I’ll have time to get the paint I need for our project. “ Usually, church thoughts find their way into my mind. “What do we need to accomplish this church year as a board? What’s the agenda for June? Who’s doing what? What’s the best use of our precious retreat time together? Everyone is so busy!” Pretty soon my thoughts have taken over and I find I am tripping over the step, doing the wrong part of the routine – you get the picture. I have to laugh. It’s not that thinking is bad or that those thoughts aren’t important. But when the thinking gets in the way, I just need to notice it and set it aside for another time, so I can be focused in the moment and enjoy the music and the energy I am getting from the experience.

So, alone in the labyrinth with just Cindy silently walking before me, I found it strangely “unspiritual”. I’m used to walking where I want, taking different forks in the road to explore new territory, seeing interesting new sights. Here I was, walking a path that was preplanned for me, with nothing new to uncover. And yet, I didn’t depart from the planned path, despite there was nothing stopping me. Like in my step class, my mind wandered and I found myself critiquing the experience – “what’s this all about? I don’t get it.” Critiquing – another habit. I made my way to the center, meeting Cindy there. There, in the middle of the labyrinth, our voices vibrated off the stone walls that enclosed the labyrinth. Stomping on the ground echoed back to us. It was like being the clanger in a bell. What an amazing feeling. What had I missed on the way while I was critiquing?

My experience of the walk out of the labyrinth was very different. Critique put away for another time, I focused on the journey of the labyrinth. I began to notice how the path weaved towards the middle, and then back to the outside, doubling back near, but not quite over, territory I’d covered before – a bit like life. I began to notice certain stones – very different from the others – which pulled my interest, and made me wonder if someone had placed them there with specific intent, with special meaning. I wondered what their journey was about, and why they walked the labyrinth. I noticed the honeysuckle on the walls around us and the sounds of the birds in the trees. Same walk – different experience – just by noticing a habit and putting it aside to create something new and more spiritual.

Currently, I am taking a course from Alan and Dianne Collins; Dianne is the author of “Do You QuantumThink®? New Thinking That Will Rock Your World” (coming this summer). This week, we are watching for our habits – just noticing them as they’re happening and setting them aside to create a different experience. We all have them – complaining, whining, criticizing, justifying, resisting. If we are able to catch ourselves in them and, without judgment, shift our thinking in the moment, we can shape our experience in totally different ways. Something to try at church as we create the welcoming and caring community we hope to be.

In Faith,

Nancy

Gratitude and Change

2010-05-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

We just had our annual meeting on Sunday. I toiled all week before - actually for several weeks - with what I might say to our congregation that would make a difference - might take us into a year of discussion together with a spirit of community. But it was on a walk with my family - away from the computer - that words came to me that had meaning. I had forgotten my spiritual practice for a couple weeks - and coming back to it centered me. A lesson for me - take care of myself.

In my remarks, I asked that each person consider two questions, and before the end of the meeting, write down their responses on a card and turn it in to us: "What are you grateful for?" and "What will you do differently next year in relation to First Unitarian?" Centered in our gratitude for all that we have in this great faith of ours, what actions will we take to bring about the transformation we need to be the church we know we can be? The responses were overwhelming - amazing gratitude and significant commitment.

If you were not there, or if you were there and are still pondering, I hope you will send me your responses, or add them as a comment to this blog, or fill out card and put it in the board mail slot at church so we can multiply our energy. While we have significant concerns about our budget this year - as we have had in previous years - we are now facing our challenges with intent for understanding and action this year, and that will make all the difference.

I include below my words to the congregation from our annual meeting for your consideration.

President's Report to the Congregation - Sunday, May 16, 2010

“Gratitude is one of those rare forces in life that increases as you give it away,” says Neil Neimark, of the Body Soul Connection. And so I’d like to begin my remarks with gratitude. First, for outgoing board members who have worked hard on your behalf.

Cindy Cohen has been a member of your Board for 6 years, including 1 year as President. She believed she could make a difference for our congregation during difficult times, and she has made a difference in so many ways. She is passionate about our communications and has paved the way for those who will succeed her on the board and in the role of recording secretary.
David Weiss has been a member of your Board for 3 years and a vital devil’s advocate for our thinking, bringing challenging questions and unique perspectives to our work. His presence and voice has been invaluable to me as Board president.
Phil Dowd has been a member of your Board for 3 years, as well. In his gentle way, Phil helped reel me in when necessary and was instrumental in planning our retreats and meetings with the congregation, bringing his facilitation skills to the table.

We will miss all three on the Board and look forward to our three new Board members who will join us tomorrow after our vote today. Please join me in thanking these fine folks for their service.

I would also like to thank:

Steve Cohen, who has been our Treasurer for two years and will continue next year. He has significant insights into our financial situation and has provided sage advice throughout the year. Over the past four weeks, he has prepared and reviewed the outlook for next year, facilitated emotionally charged discussions with his own sense of calm. He will be instrumental during next year in helping the Board and congregation understand the realities of our financial situation as we complete our work on the priorities of our church.
The Executive Team has been our partner in leadership this year, accepting their responsibilities and accountabilities with great energy. We have made significant progress this year towards operational excellence. For the first time in my 5 years on the Board, we are receiving complete monitoring reports on church operations that clearly demonstrate our strengths and weaknesses and instill confidence in your Board and Treasurer that our operations and financial condition are sound. For the first time in 7 years we have had an external financial audit and it showed no significant issues. For the first time in 9 years, we have a high level long-range plan that has been turned over to the Executive Team to take to the next level of detail.

Who and what are you grateful for in our congregation? If you will, please take your yellow card and write “I am grateful for” on it, and before you leave today, please list one gratitude.

Uncertainty – Change – Fear – Bad memories – Love – Strong emotional triggers. We’ve been through a lot as a congregation in the past 10 years and things are feeling good. Much is reflected in our annual report and I hope you will take time to read about all of our accomplishments. Great stuff is beginning to happen.

For several years now we have used reserve funds to balance a budget that is larger than reliable forms of income can support. This is a practice which is unsustainable and it is time to address it with intention. This year, your board and Executive Team presented a preliminary budget at two budget reconciliation meetings with the congregation, that included reducing job positions of three of our staff members: Honorary Minister of Music (HMM), Director of Religious Exploration (DRE) and, Business Manager (BM), as well as reducing our dues, and eliminating budgets for most of our committees. It was based on a lower income from several sources, including projected pledge income. We were thrown, as a congregation, and many of you asked for one more year to give our fledgling programs a chance to take off and to understand our priorities better; to take care of our valued and talented staff; to understand if our limitation on staff costs of 70% of income is still relevant; to figure this out. Your input was considered carefully by the Executive Team and Board.

In a few minutes, Steve Cohen will present a revised budget that restores program staff, including the DRE and HMM, to full time with salary cuts across all staff. It is not a balanced budget – and the Board requires that it be balanced by June 15. Even with significant cuts still included, such as the BM position, dues and committee budgets, the shortage is too large to continue to fund from other sources. The plan is to have a supplemental stewardship drive to close the gap in projected income needed, estimated to be on the order of $30,000 – about 5% of our current projected pledge income. Short of raising that income, the Executive Team will make adjustments to the budget to be in alignment with our financial policies with the exception of the limit on salaries and benefits to 70% of projected income, which we will ask you to put aside again this year. The reality is, if the gap is still too large at the end of the drive, we could still impact our staff further.

A personal story: My dad is soon to be 86 – a young man by some standards. :-) He looks frail, physically, to the unknowing onlooker. He’s had a number of mini-strokes which have left him without good balance and strength. Every time he gets up from his chair and is securely on his feet, he declares with a smile “made it again”. And then he goes on to walk in the pool and seek out new ways to strengthen his body because at 86 he has a strong will to live. “I’m not ready yet, Nan,” he says. It’s not “business as usual” for him.

When we approve this budget – and I believe we will; when we raise the additional funds – and I believe we will; will we say “made it again” and go on, business as usual? What will we do differently to take today’s congregation into the future? How will we think differently about our staff and our programs? How can we be more intentional about creating opportunities to bring the community in – or to take our programs to the community? How can we refocus our energy on our highest priorities so we don’t burn out our staff and volunteers?

To quote President Barack Obama “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

So, if you will, please think about “what I will do differently in my relationship to First Unitarian Church and why,” and before the end of this meeting, write it down on the back of the yellow card. Here’s what I have written on my card: Starting in June, I will be working with our youth as a mentor in leadership because our youth are our future. And I will join with others to work on our systems of connection, because connection is a key ingredient for growth. Paul and I will contribute to the supplemental pledge drive and starting today, we began a new spiritual practice of giving thanks each week for the gifts this congregation has given to us—and for the privilege of freedom of belief and worship. We intend to give each week to the non-designated offering, over and above our pledge. We won’t let the offering plate pass us without reaching in our pockets for a few extra dollars. I invite you to join us in that practice, which alone could raise significant ongoing income from just $1 per person per week.

I hope you will put your name on your card and put it in the basket at the back of the sanctuary, sharing your gratitude and your commitments with us. What you give away returns to you in ways you may not yet understand.

In Faith,

Nancy

Inspirational Ideas Welcome

2010-04-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'm in the habit of doing the Sudoku and Cryptic Byword puzzles in the paper each morning - I read the horoscopes, too. Usually they give me a chuckle - occasionally they speak the truth. SPOILER ALERT - If you do the cryptogram - and haven't done it today - I'm about to reveal the answer. According to Mary Kay Ash ... "A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one." How true.

I've been moping around for the past two weeks, caving emotionally to the pressure of decisions to be made about how we can afford the staff we have, in the face of a smaller congregation than we once were. Believe me, I've cried many a private tear. As a Board and Executive Team, we have looked at the facts, and have taken a conservative approach as fiduciaries for our beloved congregation which results in reducing all employees time and pay, some as much as 25%, It's a safe and secure way to be financially sound for the next year - and it inspires no one, I suspect. Not the Board, not the ministers, not the staff, not the congregation.

On the other hand, it is a wake-up call for us. It calls us to challenge ourselves to be creative and to focus on the changes we must make to be viable for the long-term. I received a note from a person who has attended our church and heard of our current financial dilemma. He put it like this - "...the church appears to finally be at a real fork in the road. One path will lead to a smaller congregation with a smaller budget, the other to the unknown which hopefully involves major outreach and service to Wilmington and Delaware and a larger congregation. People want to be part of something that is improving their world." I knew that. In the Board's discussions with the congregation over the past year about who we want to be as a congregation, we heard that being a congregation that makes a difference in the world, outside our four walls, was a high priority.

If we are to grow, why would people choose our church for the long haul? Clearly, being open to diverse beliefs gets some people through the door, but is it enough to keep them? A great Sunday morning program will keep many. At the same time, I believe, like the feedback I received, the people who are church shopping today - whether for themselves or their family - are looking for ways they can make a difference in the world - hands on. And that is at the core of Unitarian Universalism. Many of us do that outside of our church home - and some of us focus on outreach through our church. Imagine the impact we could have if we brought our values to the world together on a much larger scale. With our newly formed Allies for Racial Justice, we are beginning a new partnership with Canaan Baptist Church - a great addition to our current outreach programs like ILYA and Emmanuel Dining Room. Will our outreach inspire us - and others?

What would it look like and feel like to be the liberal church known for making real change in our community and beyond? That could be something to stick around for - and eventually support.

As for ideas for our current dilemma? Bring them on. I'd much rather be inspired that sad. We read that it takes 3 to 5 years to experience the beginning of growth when a new minister or other church leader arrives. That's a few years away for us - and yet it's just around the corner. How can we have financial responsibility and creativity work hand in hand to move us forward?

And by the way, I'm done moping.

In Faith,

Nancy

It matters where we go

2010-04-14T14:23:00.000-07:00

I spent last weekend with friends I first met nearly 40 years ago when I was a freshman at college. We were moving in to the dorm and found ourselves in a remote tower of the building. You could only get there by walking down the second floor, through a door onto the balcony overlooking one of the dining rooms, around the balcony and through another door, up a flight of stairs - where there were three rooms; a triple, a quad and another triple. It was called "Rat Hole" at the time. Interestingly, it is now "Princess Tower" - a new perspective on life! Well, you really get to know people when you live together somewhat isolated from others. Thirty-five years after graduation, we reunited and found what we already knew - we have a bond that will last a lifetime. We visited that freshman room - even took our picture with the girls who live there now and shared stories about the room. They say it's haunted!

Saturday, we took a walk around - a truly beautiful campus, especially in the springtime. I lingered behind to capture the moment and take it all in again. The experience gave me pause to think once again about what's really important in life - family, good friends, good memories, service to others. For the past year, our Board of Trustees has experimented with a variety of ways to engage you - our members and friends - to understand what is really important to you when it comes to the difference we make as a church community. Your ideas and perspectives help us set First Unitarian's direction and allocate our limited time - paid and volunteer - and financial resources. We tried fun polls in the Parish Hall on Sundays, a Friday night wine and cheese gathering, a Sunday afternoon pizza lunch and workshop, as well as countless individual interactions. Along the way, we gathered many interesting insights which will help us as we work through another tight budget year.

Member Jenn Phillips recently reminded me of the famous quote by Lewis Carroll from Alice In Wonderland - " ... 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. 'I don't much care where - ' said Alice. 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go.' said the Cat. '-so long as I get somewhere.' Alice added as an explanation. 'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.' "

It matters where we go - what we stand for. It's always a little fuzzy in the distance - and it still matters. As we do each year, we must choose what is most important to us in moving towards our vision. We count on our members' financial support to the best of their abilities to get us there. Have you remembered to let the office know what you can pledge to help First U be a strong voice for Unitarian Universalist values and make a real difference in the face of many challenges in our community, our country and the world? If you have - many thanks. If it has slipped off your radar screen, there's still time to make that call. Thanks in advance for your support.

In Faith,

Nancy

The Possibilities of our Dream

2010-03-14T18:59:00.000-07:00

This week we kicked off our stewardship campaign for the support of our church operations. It’s a tough sell. Times are hard for many of our members – layoffs, salary cuts, and other hardships of a financial nature. I’ve been rereading a very inspirational book by Lynne Twist called “The Soul of Money” as I prepared for speaking to the congregation today about our vision. She talks of our traditional perspectives of our resources, like money and time, which block us from using them for fulfilling causes. She names them “the toxic myths of scarcity” – “There’s not enough”, “More is better”, and “That’s just the way it is”. These perspectives cause us to take actions out of fear, competition, and hopelessness. If we can let go of these and shift our perspective to one of “sufficiency” – knowing there is enough and that we are enough – we make different choices - about how we spend our time, how we spend our money. In her book she describes many situations where people who have far less than we do in the United States live happy, fulfilling lives.

When Paul and I decided to put our church and other causes that are consistent with our values at the top of our priority list for disposable income, we found we could support these important aspects of our life in a significant way. I’m sure we gave up other material things – maybe we didn’t eat out as much, we didn’t buy a bigger house, we still have the TV we had 10 years ago – and many other things. Nothing important was missed AND we feel really good that a significant part of our income is going to causes which make a difference not only in our lives but in the lives of others in our community.

So I repeat here what I wrote to you, the congregation, for the service today, in the event you were unable to make it to church. I have removed names I used of individuals since I haven’t received permission to use them in my blog.
____________________________

This is an intentionally inclusive faith community that welcomes all. When you close your eyes and dream about the possibilities, what do you see?

I see a teenager who shared with us last week that his church youth group and UU cons were the two places in the world he felt accepted. He has connected with other youth and it has made a difference in his life.
I see a group of young teens who are launching their own personal spiritual quest – each on their own unique path. They are connecting with their inner selves and with the search they will continue into adulthood. They are connecting with others who believe differently from them. This has made a difference in their lives and how they relate to their friends of different faiths.
I see a small group discussing a deep question about god or death or freedom. In this group, some members, some not - there are significant differences in backgrounds and beliefs – intentionally. As each person speaks from the depths of their being, the others are not thinking about what they will say next about their own beliefs, but rather are listening intently to gain new perspective, growing in their understanding about another human being. And when it is their turn, the others listen, too. They have connected on a deep, spiritual and human level and it has made a difference in their lives and how they see and relate to others in their community.
I see adults working side-by-side with teens and adults like our members who have a dream of saving the world, and with others outside our church so that all people in our community will be afforded their inherent worth and dignity and our planet will be sustained for future generations. They have connected in service to others and it has made a difference in their lives and the life of our community.
I see an all-church potluck – or talent show, like last night, with families of all sorts playing and laughing: single people and committed couples – old and young - straight and gay - with and without children, all colors, all backgrounds. They have connected in fellowship and it has made a difference in their lives and how they relate to people who are different from them.
I see people who are visiting those who cannot be at church. They are reading, talking, and being quiet together. They are connecting in care and love and it has made a difference in their lives.
I see us joining our voices, hands and hearts with other UU’s – some who now have their own church we helped to grow – working for systemic change in our world. Our collective voice is needed and is making a difference.

Our vision is that our church is not just a safe haven – although it is that too – but a launching pad for personal and spiritual renewal. A place where learning about and from our differences is what makes us whole and prepares us for the work we must do in the world; where we are intentionally inclusive because we do not know how to be otherwise.

This vision is not so different than 20 years ago – or 40 years ago – or a hundred years ago, because it is rooted in our Unitarian Universalist values. It was about 20 years ago when Paul and I were reflecting on our relationship with our church – sitting right here, preparing to make our pledge for the next year. Having just returned from four years living in places where we didn’t have a UU church like this in our town, we were keenly aware of what we had missed. Like we heard last night “You don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.”

We were raising 3 children, both working, paying for day care, stretching to pay for our new house, saving for college. Time and money seemed tight. After everything else, we were contributing to church as best we thought we could; AND we recognized that our support of this important faith didn’t come close to matching the difference it made in our lives and the lives of our children. In that moment – – our relationship with money and our faith was forever transformed.

That year we doubled our pledge – and year after year we increased it significantly. We still watched our money and planned for the future – only now our church – and other causes that reflected our values in action – were at the top of the priority list in our plan. What we found was there was always enough. Enough money, enough time. We believe in what this church is and can be.

For many of you, like us, money flows through your life like a river. And for others, especially now, it’s a trickle. All are included here. We all have the opportunity – the freedom – to direct the flow of what we do have – our time, energy, creativity, compassion – and money – to make a difference.

This is an intentionally inclusive faith community that welcomes all. It has transformed the lives of generations – and is our hope it will continue to do so for generations to come.

Sand Dollars and Membership Growth

2010-03-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

The Board is initiating a conversation about membership growth in First U. Our vision is to make a difference in the world. If growing our numbers is important to us, in what ways will it help to make a difference? Is growing in our diversity important? Why?

It sure feels like we’re growing. We are feeling excitement in church, attendance is good – and coffee hour after church is full and lasts a long time. Open Circles is in full swing, people are showing up to cook for Emmanuel Dining Room, and a new effort has begun to address racial justice. The fact is, in the past year, we have barely held steady in our overall membership numbers? We say we want to grow –– and it’s a big challenge.

I’ve been visiting my parents in Florida over the past week – spending time on the Gulf Coast in the panhandle. Despite the colder than usual weather, I spent several hours of every day walking along the deserted beach. I was usually in search of that rare find – a sand dollar that hasn’t been broken up in its travels through the breaking waves. I found many, many beautiful shells – there must be millions to choose from. But it’s hard to find sand dollars. I was also in search of new subjects for my photography. I have hundreds of photos of this beach – the shells, the sunset, the waves, the gulls. I was hoping to get a great shot of a pelican. Harder than it seems. Alone on the beach, I rediscovered the importance of patience, something easy to leave behind in the digital world. It takes patience to get that specific picture I have in my imagination.

While walking, I thought a lot about our vision for our membership. I tried to stay away from easy answers and instead focused on questions we might contemplate. I realized that understanding growth and its impact is like finding that elusive sand dollar – it takes patience. It takes asking questions to understand what we will achieve through growth. It takes creating experiences that are rewarding and make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. I continue to believe that when others experience the difference we make at our church, we will grow. And it takes patience.

I hope you will join the Board of Trustees on Sunday, March 7^th, at our “Springboard to Growth” conversation with the congregation, and help us to discern what growth means to our congregation.

And by the way, I finally found that sand dollar!

In Faith,

Nancy

Relaxed - May it last!

2010-02-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

One of the early walks we took while in New Zealand was along the Te Waihou Walkway on the north island. We piled out of the bus and started walking through rolling hills, cattle grazing in the fields to our left. Working our way through the pastoral lands, we climbed down to the Waihou Stream. This beautiful, blue-green stream is totally spring fed – pure and natural – said to be one of the purest water sources in the world. The water was so clear I could easily see the fish swimming along. I was awestruck at the clarity and the color.

Such a peaceful walk. Most of our group walked on ahead while I lingered at the back, soaking up the beauty of it all – and of course trying to capture it with my camera. I think it was on this walk that I really relaxed from the trip to get there – and stayed that way for the rest of the trip. It was very easy to shed the stress of our American life. The people we encountered were relaxed, the country was beautiful, and the air was clean. If ever our 7th principle was alive and well, it was in this beautiful country.

Back at home, I’m still feeling relaxed. How long will it last? Hard to tell. But I’m enjoying the feeling. I even had a different outlook during our recent snow storms. I had much more energy for the shoveling (thankfully). And when that was done, Matt and I built a snowman. Memories of my childhood! Here’s to keeping stress down and energy up!

In Faith,

Nancy

Welcoming the Stranger

2010-02-21T18:10:00.000-08:00

Wandering through New Zealand, it was no surprise to find our guide to be amazingly friendly and welcoming. After all, it’s his job. Gary greeted us on our first day with a big smile and a handshake, and it seemed instantly knew all of our names – 15 in our group. He greeted us each day with an enthusiastic “Kia Ora!” – and assured us each day that “it’s all good….no worries.” He made an amazing difference in our travel experience.

What stood out for me however was how welcoming the locals were – people who weren’t being paid to see that our stay was a good one. On the first day in Auckland, while riding the ferry across the bay to our first hike and soaking up the sites silently by myself, a young New Zealand woman engaged me in conversation as if we rode together on the ferry every day. What is often awkward to me came easily and naturally to her. On my way back on the ferry, a weathered older man was equally friendly, leading me in an “every day” conversation. There was no magic in what we said – just every day talk. We did talk about where I was from (obviously not a local) - and never mentioned the weather!

This experience was repeated over and over during our stay in New Zealand - “radical hospitality” at its best. What is the parallel for our church, where welcoming newcomers is critical to growing our membership? I believe it is a culture where ALL members of the congregation see themselves on the “membership team”. Indeed we have some members like that – friendly and welcoming to newcomers, even when not in an official greeter role. Are you one of them?

On Sunday, try talking with someone you don’t know before approaching your usual circle of friends. Make a difference in a newcomer’s experience of our congregation.

In faith,

Nancy

A Challenge Faced

2010-02-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

I’ve just returned from New Zealand – an amazing adventure with many new experiences. There were opportunities for walking everyday – some easy, and some more challenging. One such challenge for me came about 5 days into our travel. We traveled by bus from Rotorua to the base of Mt. Tarawera, a dormant volcano which last blew its top June 10, 1886. From there, we boarded a 4-wheel drive vehicle to travel through dense forest on a one-way rugged road the rest of the way up the mountain to the beginning of our day’s hike. By the time we got to our starting point, vegetation was scrubby and the walking path was visible – and not too long to the top. I knew we were to continue our hike down into the crater of Mt. Tarawera – yet when we got to the edge of the crater, it looked to be straight down. I started getting that feeling in my stomach that I get near the edge of the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls. “OK – that’s a long way down there.”

About half of us decided to continue on the crater hike –while the others took an alternate path around the crater to our meeting point. I was determined to face my jitters and joined the group headed for the crater. Instructions were to step heel first each time and slide with each step as we make our way down through the loose volcanic rock. "If you lose your balance, sit down– like skiing." There were other instructions about walking poles and other things which I only half heard in my distraction about the hike.

It was steep – although not straight down as it seemed. After a couple of steps getting the “feel of the land”, I became much more comfortable – ready to snap away with my camera to try to capture the moment. I did sit several times – and I smiled a lot. What a great feeling to be half-way around the world, walking down into a volcano, facing a challenge – and beating the jitters! At the bottom, we all emptied our boots of loose rock, which we were promised would get in as we sunk into about six-inches of gravel on the way down. Our guide drew in the gravel and told the story of the volcano – while I wandered around snapping photos. And then we trekked out.

We all have fears – no matter how insignificant they may seem. Facing them takes determination –knowing if we do we’ll feel exhilaration at having accomplished something new and challenging. Church involvement can be like that, too. A fear of public speaking is something I hear about from potential church leaders. Fear of the unknown in some totally new experience is another. My experience – in travel and in church – is the first step is the hardest. After that, it’s all downhill. As they say in New Zealand, ”no worries, mate. It's all good!” What will you be trying next?

In Faith,

Nancy

Take notice and celebrate

2009-12-31T20:05:00.000-08:00

I took a walk along the “green way” today with my friend and fellow Board member, Cindy – at her invitation. There was snow on the ground, it was cold – and we were bundled up pretty well to stay warm. It was great to have Cindy with me – I may have missed seeing a hawk, which she spotted along the way. As we walked along a wooded area, we noticed many small birds in the shrubbery, which were blending in until they suddenly all shifted their positions on the branches. Cindy pointed out the geese on the hill as we walked back to her car. It’s amazing what we see when we’re consciously looking - noticing. Thanks, Cindy!

New Year’s Eve – a time to reflect on the past year – notice and celebrate our accomplishments – and then look forward to the possibilities of the next. I’ve tried some new things this year – a new spiritual practice and this blog being one of them. I’ve joined the ranks of Facebook players, reconnecting with many old friends along with today’s friends and family. I’ve taken a class in spiritual journaling – and loved it. I’ve joined several wonderful small groups – brown bag, women’s spirituality, open circles – and continued with an existing group of incredible women outside of church. I have traveled to other parts of the world and recorded my thoughts and photography in a book which has become a treasured memory for others as well. Through all of these I have a renewed consciousness about my life, my creativity and my spiritual being. This is something to celebrate as the year comes to an end. What have you accomplished in 2009? I hope you will take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments – regardless of how big or small. If you’re brave, you’ll share them in a comment to this blog.

And what possibilities lie in front of us? In Open Circles, we reflected on the question “Do you believe in imagining a life and then trying to live it”? We could ask a similar question about church life – is it possible to imagine the church we want to be and then have it happen? I, for one, believe that we create our experience of life – of church - through our attitudes and actions and the ways in which we react to things that happen around us. As a congregation, knowing we are here to renew ourselves, each other, and those beyond our walls, the possibilities are endless. What do you notice already? Like the hawk high on a pole, the birds in the shrubs, and the geese on the hill - great things are already happening – we just need to look around and see for ourselves.

In faith,

Nancy

Hope and change

2009-12-15T17:07:00.000-08:00

I set out to walk one day last week with my son, contemplating “hope” – the theme for December for First U. We heard about it from Josh, we’ve discussed it at Open Circle meetings. As I walked, I noticed this large, old tree on a hill, soil eroded underneath it, holding on for dear life by its roots. That tree has hope, I thought. Hope to survive, somehow. Hope for things to stay the way they once were, maybe. It seems unlikely this tree will last forever – like most things in life. It will fall and return to the earth over years. There are cycles and things change. It’s the same way at church. We hang on for dear life to things we remember and cherish – and then we let go. The energy is focused elsewhere and we need to go where the energy is.

I joined the Board almost 5 years ago – filled with hope for our church. It was the first of what became 3 interim years before we would call a new senior minister. A time of upheaval – a time of change. I had faith that we would come through this challenging time – and flourish. Like the tree, our roots would hold us fast – to our principles, our values. Like the tree, we held on to our past. Like the tree, we moved on with the help of able ministers and leadership. It’s been a great time to be on the Board – and getting better. We’ve worked out some of the kinks of how we govern and are thinking a lot more about our future. Soon, we’ll be looking for people to cycle on to the Board, while 3 people cycle off. More change – new ideas. Ask us about it – you may find it’s just the rewarding experience you are seeking.

Speaking of seeking and hope – after a pretty good walk that took us from Mt. Lebanon Rd through the Brandywine Creek St. Park to Thompson’s Bridge, we decided to turn around and try the Rocky Run trail. According to the map (which we left at home, naturally), it looped up one side of a creek – Rocky Run, I suppose – and then across and back along the other side. As we climbed the hill, the trail soon became a small trickle of water, and then a shallow stream. We stepped from side to side, trying to avoid the obvious mud holes, and finally came to the point where we followed the trail down the hill to cross the creek. Hmm – no bridge. And the rocks were far enough apart that I was not willing to risk falling in with my precious camera. So – on we went, back up the hill, sure we would find a better place to cross. It was quite a while – and we found ourselves at a farm (later found it on the map near the corner of Woodlawn Rd and Thompson’s Bridge Rd). Back into the woods – over the creek at a safer place. Over another branch of the creek. Talk about hope. I was definitely hoping to find the “blue” trail that would lead us home. Sometimes we meander through the unknown – and we find our way through, and out the other side, with new knowledge and new memories of our adventures. I like what Martin Luther King has to say about hope... "We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope."

Safely at home, after hiking three and a half hours, I was definitely ready for a rest!

In faith,

Nancy

Feeling renewed

2009-12-07T08:49:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, I listened to Lani present our long-range plan for the second time. Who are we? We are a church that renews – within, among and beyond. Simple – and memorable. And that is our focus now and for the next 3 to 5 years. It’s a great message. We come to our church for personal renewal – spiritually and ethically – so that we are whole and ready to support each other and do good work in the world. Our leaders – ministers and volunteers – are aligning around renewal this year. Are you experiencing this on Sunday mornings? Do you come away from your committee experiences feeling renewed? Have you joined an Open Circle or another form of small group? How are you connecting with others and renewing yourself?

The Board of Trustees is “small group” where we can also focus on renewal – in fact, we must. We have significant accountabilities for the welfare of the church AND we grow together in community. To lead, we must first have the strength to lead. We take care of each other. Such has been my experience this year. It is easy for the President to be swallowed up by the job. I am fortunate to have fellow Board members who care – and remind me to take care of myself. After all, there are nine of us doing this great work.

I have just returned for the 7th or 8th time this year from South Carolina, where Paul and I have been helping to look after aging parents. There have been three deaths in Paul’s family this year – and this was one of those trips. This is also a busy time for the Board – coming up on mid-year: planning for sessions to connect with the congregation, communicating the results of the long range planning effort, addressing our financial health at mid-year, reviewing audit results, beginning the process to bring on new Board members for next year, planning for next year’s budget, planning for the Annual meeting – and still managing the regular monitoring of our church operations and progress. With all that is going on, Board members readily step in to backfill for each other – and for me this time – so we have the time we need for personal care. It is a gift – and it is what our church is all about.

I just want to take this opportunity to thank my fellow Board members for this gift of renewal – and for our time together.

In faith,

Nancy

Milkweed and Renewal

2009-11-23T10:15:00.000-08:00

It works. Breathing, that is. I brought a new inner calm and attitude to our Board meeting last week – one more about seeking understanding and less about telling, even while we were learning about concepts of governing a church. The tone of the meeting felt different to me, and I left feeling content we had done well. Good discussion, acknowledging our different views, and all hopefully coming away with more understanding than we had going in. No problems sleeping that night – no leftover chatter keeping me up.

I took some really great walks this week with Paul and Matt – Brandywine Creek State Park, the Russell Peterson Wildlife Refuge and then Ashland Nature Center on Sunday afternoon. I was particularly awestruck at the state of the woods at Ashland. Large, old trees were uprooted all along the way – evidence of our wet spring and high winds earlier, I suppose. It’s amazing to me to see such big and powerful trees, fallen to the ground. At this time of year, most of the green is gone, leaving a web of vines, totally encasing the trees. We walked along, leaves crunching under our feet – my camera in hand for recording the adventure. While walking through the woods, I spent a lot of time watching my step; never quite sure of what is under all those leaves – rocks, tree roots – things to trip me up. The trail was just barely visible, from people who had walked that way before us.

Each season brings its own beauty. I love the blowing reeds in the refuge area, the sun setting in the distance. And the signs of new life to come in the milkweed pod at Ashland, split open, soft – ready to send its seeds off to begin the next cycle of life. Trees that once toppled over have grown new shoots, reaching out from the shade of the woods towards the sun near the water. Red berries remain – food for the birds that remain over winter. The milkweed pod reminds me of our own renewal – individually and together. I’m feeling new energy in our congregation. New ways of connecting with each other. New ways of living our values. Are you feeling it, too?

Remembering to breathe

2009-11-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

The impact of spiritual practice really hit home this week – basically because I let the week slip by without stopping to breathe. It was rainy most days – coldish – windy – and I was busy being busy. And I wasn’t feeling my best, besides. So I didn’t take any walks. I filled my days and evenings with important things to do, preparing for our first Board party with the congregation for the year. You see – as is my way – I was driven to take full advantage of this precious opportunity with our congregation. Along the way, though, I didn’t stop to breathe.

I had many chances -- I am blessed to have several different small groups I meet with from time to time – and it seemed like they all met last week: Open Circles, Women's Spirituality, Spirituality Writing, and another group of inspirational women. There were clues during all these gatherings about this need to breathe. Early in the week I heard the perspective that meditation can occur in many forms - at most times. Still I didn’t take time to breathe. Others recounted how laughter is healing – and I recalled a time while commuting in rush hour traffic, that I forced myself to turn off the chatter in my brain and just smile – a big, tooth-revealing, smile. So silly - and I instantly felt better. Even more, I noticed a rainbow in the sky in front of me that I simply would have missed in my tense battle with the cars around me. And still I didn’t take time to breathe. On Thursday I spent time with my small group of inspirational women and I was reminded about perspective and letting go. I began to consider I should take time to breathe. On Saturday, in my spiritual writing class, I began to absorb the message – spiritual practice takes many forms. Allow the form to unfold – it’s the renewal that occurs that’s important. My weeklong headache began to subside. I spent two hours with this group of wonderful women, just writing and sharing. And I felt refreshed. So much more prepared to serve others.

If you were with the Board on Friday evening, you heard a bit about our long range plan. “Renewal within” is one component – and one I can personally relate to. When I’m busy being busy, the energy is sapped from my mind, body and spirit – and I am clearly not at my best for serving others. By taking the time to breathe – to intentionally renew within – I find I am better able to serve others and the challenges we face in this world. There’s a Board meeting tonight – and I have much to do to get ready. So I took a long walk this morning, on this beautiful day; sat by a stream and listened to the water running; closed my eyes and smelled the leaves, felt the breeze; and prepared myself for another great week.

In Faith,

Nancy

When is terrific not terrific?

2009-11-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

Thank you for reading! And thanks to the 2nd and 3rd graders at First U, and their teachers, for inviting me to their class today to share a bit about my spiritual practice. It's an interesting thing, trying to convey what we adults do for ourselves in stories a young person might relate to. (In fact, it’s not so simple doing this with adults!) Some of the children connected with feeling busy and needing some “time off” like I do. One of the young boys told of an experience of suddenly noticing a fox running through his yard – something out of the ordinary that caused him to take notice. That happens for me on my walks. I shared with them that I usually have some “niggling” problem or question that somehow seems to work itself out while walking in the fresh air. Soon, they were off to try a walk outdoors on this beautiful day, in search of the trees that First U families had planted well before they were born, and to experiment with potential spiritual practices of their own. I’m looking forward to hearing how it went.

This week I’ve been thinking about “reasonableness”. It’s a key ingredient of the trust we have between the Board of Trustees and our church management, led by our Executive Team. It's also a topic of conversation for our Board meeting this month. The vision the Board has set for the church is quite broad– with many possible and reasonable interpretations of who is impacted and how to get there.

How do we say what’s reasonable? Common sense? Expectation of what is actually possible? Affordable? Good enough? I had a practical experience with this on one of my walks this week. I planned a terrific walk along the Brandywine. It was a beautiful day and I invited my family along to explore new territory with me. We listened to the sounds of water rushing somewhere in the distance as we walked down the hill towards the river, leaves crackling under our feet. My spirits were soaring. I love autumn. And it was clear after some time that my interpretation of “terrific” was not necessarily shared. We hadn’t brought water or snacks, and Paul’s recently-healed leg injury was reoccurring. “How long are you planning to walk?” Oops – failed to clarify that I hoped to walk several hours! We considered the many paths we could take to return to our car. After choosing a route, Matt asked – “Is that the best way?” I laughed to myself in light of my question on “what’s reasonable.” It depends, of course, on your interpretation of best. How do you measure it? For Paul, best was the quickest way to water with the least stress on his hurting leg. For me, best was the most beautiful way. Both were reasonable interpretations. We chose the quicker, flatter, and smoother option – and while not the most beautiful (to me) –in the end it was truly best for this day and circumstances. Lesson learned – set clear expectations in the future. Still, the walk was awesome even though it ended differently than I had envisioned.

When the Board considers how Rev. Josh, Rev. Barbara and Marina interpret our guidance to them on behalf of the congregation, it will not be one person’s view of “reasonable” that will matter. It will be a collective understanding that guides our choices and possibly sends us back to the drawing board to clarify our expectations for the future. It’s the way we partner to do the work of our church.

Wasn’t today beautiful? I am really thankful for the four seasons and being able to explore our wonderful world.

In faith,

Nancy

Through the Lens of Others

2009-11-01T14:49:00.000-08:00

I did a lot of thinking this week about perspective – especially about being open to other perspectives from mine. As an artist and photographer, I like to view my subjects from different perspectives. If I just move a few feet one way or another, zoom in or out, or look at it in different lighting, the image sometimes transforms from ordinary to extraordinary. Not everytime - but when it does, it's amazing - and well worth the time I spent. In my interactions with people, it is not as easy as stepping from one side to the other. But I can “zoom in” and focus on what's being said. It usually means letting go of my tightly held views – some would say my attachments – long enough to hear that gem of an idea that transforms my thinking. When I feel myself getting particularly stuck or emotional, it's a red flag telling me to let go and open up to what the people and the world around me have to offer.

So I've been practicing letting go. Here's what I noticed:

When listening to a concern from a fellow congregant, a light bulb came on that transformed my ideas about how the Board could be using advisory committees to provide us with insights on our policies.
When a Board member asked about experimenting with the agenda for our meeting, I realized we could potentially transform the experience of our Board members by changing the way our meeting process flows.
While talking with a friend and congregant about our plans for the future of our congregation, I had a wake-up call about why many members may not be energized by “vision-speak” because of health problems, age or other personal circumstances which keep them focused on today and tomorrow and making the most of the short-term.
At least twice this week, I sent email which was received differently than I intended or expected, showing me once again how important it is to have that voice or facial expression to gauge our interactions with others, and how important it is to consider, consciously, the perspective of those I communicate with over email before I hit the send button.
And when my family members remarked on how they already had a specific conversation with me just the day before, it reminded me to stop what I'm doing and just be with them, listening to them, with the respect that is due to them.

Some of these seem so simple, so basic, so obvious. But isn't most of what we do?

In our congregation, it is one of the Board member's primary roles to listen to the perspectives of our members to help us to “frame” that picture of our future. Who do we want in our picture? What will the image look like? What are we willing to give in exchange to have that picture become a living reality? Whether you are someone who must only think about tomorrow or someone who likes to imagine a new future, you can share what you value enough in church and life to spend time to get it. November 13th is one opportunity for First U members – all ages – and visitors to do this. Check out church communications for the details.

Many thanks to all who have helped me broaden my perspective over the past week or so – and to those who will do so in the future. You are helping me to be a better leader. I hope I can return the favor.

In faith,

Nancy

What Difference?

2009-10-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to walk somewhere different – a new route. The old route was getting too familiar – I found myself looking for the usual landmarks along the way, watching for the cracks in the pavement that could trip an unknowing walker. We all get in ruts – grooves that don’t allow for new possibilities. I do, for sure. Taking a new route adds the element of surprise – forces you to be more aware, more awake to life.

So I took off in the opposite direction, across a field and through a grove of young trees. The ground was wet from the rains we had over the weekend – and I had to change my path along the way to avoid the swampy ground and unexpected streams that crossed my way, as well as the “presents” left behind by animals that had strolled along the same path. It kept me on my toes, literally. I loved walking through the fallen leaves, dry now, rustling under my feet, blocking out the sounds of the lawn mowers and barking dogs along the way.

I was contemplating today’s sermon at First Unitarian by Rev. Josh Snyder – “What’s the Difference?” It’s one of the most important questions our Board of Trustees needs to ask (in my humble opinion) and yet it’s hard. And the way we have asked has not engendered much interest. As I was told last week, “it’s boring.” Turns out, at least from the perspective of that person, it’s how we ask that’s boring. Time to get out of that rut. Time to ask some different questions in new ways.

I am reminded of an email I received from my adult daughter last week. From time to time, she sends us the quotes she finds inside the lid of her bottle of tea, when she thinks we’ll find them interesting. This week’s quote was by John J. Plomp – “You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers." Here’s what she had to say about it: “I'm not quite sure what to think about this one, or if I agree with it. It seems to me that a lot of the things young children ask -- things like, 'Why is the sky blue?' -- have very interesting answers, and a lot of grown-up people ask things that are complete nonsense. On the other hand, you have brilliant adults who keep asking questions like children, ones that don't have answers *yet* (but could); and while they've managed to keep an open-eyed perspective, I still wouldn't say that they're not 'grown up'. I like to think that I can be a grown up and still ask questions whose answers can't be found on Google or Wikipedia, or might not even be the same for everyone.”

So let’s try this question. What difference do you hope Unitarian Universalism – and specifically First Unitarian – will make in the lives of your children or grandchildren? I hoped that my children would be comfortable asking the big questions of religion and life, as a result of attending our UU church. I hoped they would be prepared to make objective decisions on ethical issues. And I hoped that they would have respect for people who look different from them, believe differently from them, love differently from them, and think differently from them. When I hear my children having conversations like the one in my daughter’s email, I know that Unitarian Universalism has made a difference in their lives.

As I walked today, I was struck by the grove of trees I was passing as I crossed through the field. I suddenly woke up to the fact that these are the trees that were planted by First Unitarian children in the mid-1990’s – just seedlings back then. Some seedlings died, undoubtedly, but many have grown strong and tall. What difference did planting those trees have in the lives of those children? In the lives of their parents and their teachers? In the lives of the people in the community who now enjoy their multi-colored leaves of autumn? Being aware of the difference we want to make will help us to focus on programs and activities that will make it so.

In faith,

Nancy

Who among us is a born leader?

2009-10-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

I am taking a web-based training course with other leaders from my Unitarian Universalist congregation and in our district on nurturing growth in congregations. This week we discussed the importance of leadership to growth of our congregations and the question was posed, "Who among us is a born leader?" Silence. Why is that? Everyone in the program is a leader - probably born leaders. Are we just modest and don't want to say it out loud? Are we afraid someone will ask us to do ONE MORE THING!

I'm a born leader. Not something I say out loud much, if at all. I credit my niece Katie and her Facebook entries with reminding me it's OK to set modesty aside to say this. How do I know this? For as long as I can remember, even as a young child, people have come to me for perspective. People say "when she speaks, people listen." I'm dependable and committed to those efforts I choose to lead or engage in. Integrity is one of my "absolute" values that guides me in my day-to-day life. I love the big picture - envisioning the future - and I'm good at assimilating various perspectives and data into something people can understand. I try hard to listen to others and consider their points of view. And for whatever reason, I seem to like to take on crazy challenges - at work, at play, at church. There are some aspects of leadership that are not innate for me - risk taking, mental toughness, and conflict management to name a few - and I'm working on them. I have my attachments which can get in the way of good leadership - like wanting to be right. Like everyone, I have lots of room for personal growth.

At church, as in my life outside of church, I am influenced by many wonderful people. They are leaders, too, although some of them don't know it. They are young and old alike, in positions of leadership and self-proclaimed followers. They are our youth and our children. They are our ministers, our staff and our volunteers. They are on our Board and in our pews. THEY SHOW UP. They are diverse in their beliefs yet share a common faith and passion for making a difference in our world - however small it may seem.

Are you a leader? I'm guessing you are. And our congregation needs you and your unique skills and passions. Together we can make such a difference for so many people.

Thank you for showing up.

In faith,

Nancy

Day 1 - Intentional Spiritual Practice and a New Blog is Born

2009-09-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today I started an intentional daily spiritual practice – it consists of walking for an hour or so and clearing the cobwebs from my brain. I actually started this practice – more or less – while on vacation with my husband Paul and my parents last week. While in Maine and then Vermont, I awoke many mornings to the cool crisp air and headed out for a walk about town, reminding myself of my love of nature – trying to capture it with my camera, reminiscing about childhood memories, and just clearing my thoughts in preparation for another great day. I have a special connection to these places and the people I’ve known in them.

The word spiritual comes from the Latin, meaning “breath”. For me, this is how the outdoors feels – walks through the woods, marveling at the rocky shoreline of Maine, smelling the salt air at the shore, riding my bike over “Big Round Top” in Gettysburg and sensing the importance of what went on there or to Rehoboth and back, knowing it will make a difference to someone with MS. Or walking around my neighborhood – because it’s right there, easy – and I might even reconnect with someone I lost during the many years I spent long hours at the office.

So today I decided I will do this with intent. The question of the day…why am I called to be President of First U and what difference do we make as a Board? What difference do I make? A likely question after our monthly Board meeting, and one I have most months. Hmm…I am on the Board because some small group of people asked. I don’t remember what they said their reason was, but I do remember I was working incredibly long hours in a stressful environment, and things at church at the time were rather in an uproar as well. Why do it? Still, they asked me. So I considered – was this the right time? The short answer – yes. I believed I had some skills and the passion to help us to work through whatever it was we were in, and so I agreed. After three years, why re-up and become President? Same reasons.

It is tiring, though. Last night, as is often the case, we struggled with too many important things to talk about in our 3-hour, once-a-month meeting. So many thoughts and opinions – how do we bring them to some tangible conclusion? If you were there, you would have experienced the start of a discussion about “spiritual maturity” – what is it, what difference does it make, is it for us at First U? It’s a confusing topic for many UU’s. According to our reading from “The Almost Church Revitalized” by Michael Durall (coming to our First U Bookstore soon), spiritual maturity looks like “the courage to act on our principles. This courage crosses all theological lines.” He goes on to say “I believe such courage is more likely to occur among people in a faith community than individuals acting on their own.” Do we strive for spiritual maturity in our church? It’s a question the Board is wrestling with as it sets the vision of the church to help guide the Executive Team in their work to develop effective programs. And yet it’s hard. David put up the challenge – what does that really look like? AND David is one of the most spiritually mature people I know. Here’s what I have observed ….He is clear about his personal theological beliefs. As an artist, he has a spiritual practice which helps him to express his innermost thoughts. He is present – really present, asks important questions about who we are, participates in small groups, and in those things that he believes will make a difference in the lives of others. Relationships and service to those in need beyond us are most important to him. What can be more spiritually mature? And it is independent of whether he has the same theology as Mike or Barbara sitting on either side of him.

When we look at how the Executive Team interprets the vision we’ve laid out, it brings out important questions. We say we strive to be “a vibrant community of religious learning for people of diverse spiritual paths”. That might translate to “People at First U come from different religious backgrounds and follow different religious practices” and if that is true for most, we are partially successful in achieving our mission. Maggie asked a great question – is that what it really means? Do we see diversity of theology in our church as a measure of success? I wonder what the congregation would say. As Cindy reminded us, varying groups of people might answer that question differently and it is critical that we reach all who would provide feedback.

And then there’s the question that often comes up by board members, this time by Marilyn – “Is it the Board’s role to set the vision, or is that what we brought Josh in to do?” Where is the line in establishing the vision, ranging from turning it all over to the Sr. Minister to being highly directive so that there is no creativity left for the program staff. This is one of the hardest questions a Board can invite to the table. We’re all over the map on that one – as a diverse board should be, and as we expect the congregation is as well. Today, we have 5 very broad vision statements which we delegate to the Executive Team for them to interpret in whatever reasonable way they want. If we don’t like it, then we have more work to do to understand why we don’t like it and whether we need to be more specific. It’s one of the hardest things we will do.

So, back to my walk. While I didn’t sleep well last night, as has happened a lot this past year after board meetings – all those thoughts about how I could have done a better job – the discussion congealed for me and I saw the value in the discussion through the discomfort I felt. I reminded myself … AGAIN… to love myself, no one’s perfect. And I felt we made progress, however small, in discerning who we are as a church. That, I believe, will make a difference. Thanks to the Board members for their insights and challenges.

In faith,

Nancy