Milkweed and Renewal

It works. Breathing, that is. I brought a new inner calm and attitude to our Board meeting last week – one more about seeking understanding and less about telling, even while we were learning about concepts of governing a church. The tone of the meeting felt different to me, and I left feeling content we had done well. Good discussion, acknowledging our different views, and all hopefully coming away with more understanding than we had going in. No problems sleeping that night – no leftover chatter keeping me up.

I took some really great walks this week with Paul and Matt – Brandywine Creek State Park, the Russell Peterson Wildlife Refuge and then Ashland Nature Center on Sunday afternoon. I was particularly awestruck at the state of the woods at Ashland. Large, old trees were uprooted all along the way – evidence of our wet spring and high winds earlier, I suppose. It’s amazing to me to see such big and powerful trees, fallen to the ground. At this time of year, most of the green is gone, leaving a web of vines, totally encasing the trees. We walked along, leaves crunching under our feet – my camera in hand for recording the adventure. While walking through the woods, I spent a lot of time watching my step; never quite sure of what is under all those leaves – rocks, tree roots – things to trip me up. The trail was just barely visible, from people who had walked that way before us.

Each season brings its own beauty. I love the blowing reeds in the refuge area, the sun setting in the distance. And the signs of new life to come in the milkweed pod at Ashland, split open, soft – ready to send its seeds off to begin the next cycle of life. Trees that once toppled over have grown new shoots, reaching out from the shade of the woods towards the sun near the water. Red berries remain – food for the birds that remain over winter. The milkweed pod reminds me of our own renewal – individually and together. I’m feeling new energy in our congregation. New ways of connecting with each other.  New ways of living our values.  Are you feeling it, too?

Remembering to breathe

The impact of spiritual practice really hit home this week – basically because I let the week slip by without stopping to breathe. It was rainy most days – coldish – windy – and I was busy being busy. And I wasn’t feeling my best, besides. So I didn’t take any walks. I filled my days and evenings with important things to do, preparing for our first Board party with the congregation for the year. You see – as is my way – I was driven to take full advantage of this precious opportunity with our congregation. Along the way, though, I didn’t stop to breathe.


I had many chances -- I am blessed to have several different small groups I meet with from time to time – and it seemed like they all met last week: Open Circles, Women's Spirituality, Spirituality Writing, and another group of inspirational women.  There were clues during all these gatherings about this need to breathe. Early in the week I heard the perspective that meditation can occur in many forms - at most times. Still I didn’t take time to breathe. Others recounted how laughter is healing – and I recalled a time while commuting in rush hour traffic, that I forced myself to turn off the chatter in my brain and just smile – a big, tooth-revealing, smile. So silly - and I instantly felt better. Even more, I noticed a rainbow in the sky in front of me that I simply would have missed in my tense battle with the cars around me. And still I didn’t take time to breathe. On Thursday I spent time with my small group of inspirational women and I was reminded about perspective and letting go. I began to consider I should take time to breathe. On Saturday, in my spiritual writing class, I began to absorb the message – spiritual practice takes many forms. Allow the form to unfold – it’s the renewal that occurs that’s important. My weeklong headache began to subside. I spent two hours with this group of wonderful women, just writing and sharing. And I felt refreshed. So much more prepared to serve others.

If you were with the Board on Friday evening, you heard a bit about our long range plan. “Renewal within” is one component – and one I can personally relate to. When I’m busy being busy, the energy is sapped from my mind, body and spirit – and I am clearly not at my best for serving others. By taking the time to breathe – to intentionally renew within – I find I am better able to serve others and the challenges we face in this world. There’s a Board meeting tonight – and I have much to do to get ready. So I took a long walk this morning, on this beautiful day; sat by a stream and listened to the water running; closed my eyes and smelled the leaves, felt the breeze; and prepared myself for another great week.

In Faith,

Nancy

When is terrific not terrific?

Thank you for reading! And thanks to the 2nd and 3rd graders at First U, and their teachers, for inviting me to their class today to share a bit about my spiritual practice. It's an interesting thing, trying to convey what we adults do for ourselves in stories a young person might relate to. (In fact, it’s not so simple doing this with adults!)  Some of the children connected with feeling busy and needing some “time off” like I do. One of the young boys told of an experience of suddenly noticing a fox running through his yard – something out of the ordinary that caused him to take notice. That happens for me on my walks. I shared with them that I usually have some “niggling” problem or question that somehow seems to work itself out while walking in the fresh air.   Soon, they were off to try a walk outdoors on this beautiful day, in search of the trees that First U families had planted well before they were born, and to experiment with potential spiritual practices of their own.  I’m looking forward to hearing how it went.


This week I’ve been thinking about “reasonableness”.  It’s a key ingredient of the trust we have between the Board of Trustees and our church management, led by our Executive Team.  It's also a topic of conversation for our Board meeting this month.  The vision the Board has set for the church is quite broad– with many possible and reasonable interpretations of who is impacted and how to get there.

How do we say what’s reasonable?  Common sense?  Expectation of what is actually possible? Affordable?  Good enough?  I had a practical experience with this on one of my walks this week.  I planned a terrific walk along the Brandywine.  It was a beautiful day and I invited my family along to explore new territory with me.  We listened to the sounds of water rushing somewhere in the distance as we walked down the hill towards the river, leaves crackling under our feet.  My spirits were soaring. I love autumn.  And it was clear after some time that my interpretation of “terrific” was not necessarily shared.  We hadn’t brought water or snacks, and Paul’s recently-healed leg injury was reoccurring. “How long are you planning to walk?”  Oops – failed to clarify that I hoped to walk several hours!  We considered the many paths we could take to return to our car.  After choosing a route, Matt asked – “Is that the best way?”  I laughed to myself in light of my question on “what’s reasonable.”  It depends, of course, on your interpretation of best.  How do you measure it?  For Paul, best was the quickest way to water with the least stress on his hurting leg.  For me, best was the most beautiful way.  Both were reasonable interpretations.  We chose the quicker, flatter, and smoother option – and while not the most beautiful (to me) –in the end it was truly best for this day and circumstances.  Lesson learned – set clear expectations in the future.  Still, the walk was awesome even though it ended differently than I had envisioned.

When the Board considers how Rev. Josh, Rev. Barbara and Marina interpret our guidance to them on behalf of the congregation, it will not be one person’s view of “reasonable” that will matter.  It will be a collective understanding that guides our choices and possibly sends us back to the drawing board to clarify our expectations for the future. It’s the way we partner to do the work of our church.

Wasn’t today beautiful?  I am really thankful for the four seasons and being able to explore our wonderful world.

In faith,

Nancy

Through the Lens of Others

I did a lot of thinking this week about perspective – especially about being open to other perspectives from mine.  As an artist and photographer, I like to view my subjects from different perspectives.  If I just move a few feet one way or another, zoom in or out, or look at it in different lighting, the image sometimes transforms from ordinary to extraordinary.  Not everytime - but when it does, it's amazing - and well worth the time I spent.  In my interactions with people, it is not as easy as stepping from one side to the other.  But I can “zoom in” and focus on what's being said.  It usually means letting go of my tightly held views – some would say my attachments – long enough to hear that gem of an idea that transforms my thinking.  When I feel myself getting particularly stuck or emotional, it's a red flag telling me to let go and open up to what the people and the world around me have to offer.

So I've been practicing letting go. Here's what I noticed:

• When listening to a concern from a fellow congregant, a light bulb came on that transformed my ideas about how the Board could be using advisory committees to provide us with insights on our policies. 
• When a Board member asked about experimenting with the agenda for our meeting, I realized we could potentially transform the experience of our Board members by changing the way our meeting process flows. 
• While talking with a friend and congregant about our plans for the future of our congregation, I had a wake-up call about why many members may not be energized by “vision-speak” because of health problems, age or other personal circumstances which keep them focused on today and tomorrow and making the most of the short-term. 
• At least twice this week, I sent email which was received differently than I intended or expected, showing me once again how important it is to have that voice or facial expression to gauge our interactions with others, and how important it is to consider, consciously, the perspective of those I communicate with over email before I hit the send button. 
• And when my family members remarked on how they already had a specific conversation with me just the day before, it reminded me to stop what I'm doing and just be with them, listening to them, with the respect that is due to them.

Some of these seem so simple, so basic, so obvious. But isn't most of what we do?

In our congregation, it is one of the Board member's primary roles to listen to the perspectives of our members to help us to “frame” that picture of our future. Who do we want in our picture?  What will the image look like?  What are we willing to give in exchange to have that picture become a living reality? Whether you are someone who must only think about tomorrow or someone who likes to imagine a new future, you can share what you value enough in church and life to spend time to get it.  November 13th is one opportunity for First U members – all ages – and visitors to do this.  Check out church communications for the details.

Many thanks to all who have helped me broaden my perspective over the past week or so – and to those who will do so in the future.  You are helping me to be a better leader.  I hope I can return the favor.

In faith,

Nancy