Take notice and celebrate

I took a walk along the “green way” today with my friend and fellow Board member, Cindy – at her invitation. There was snow on the ground, it was cold – and we were bundled up pretty well to stay warm. It was great to have Cindy with me – I may have missed seeing a hawk, which she spotted along the way. As we walked along a wooded area, we noticed many small birds in the shrubbery, which were blending in until they suddenly all shifted their positions on the branches. Cindy pointed out the geese on the hill as we walked back to her car. It’s amazing what we see when we’re consciously looking - noticing. Thanks, Cindy!

New Year’s Eve – a time to reflect on the past year – notice and celebrate our accomplishments – and then look forward to the possibilities of the next. I’ve tried some new things this year – a new spiritual practice and this blog being one of them. I’ve joined the ranks of Facebook players, reconnecting with many old friends along with today’s friends and family. I’ve taken a class in spiritual journaling – and loved it. I’ve joined several wonderful small groups – brown bag, women’s spirituality, open circles – and continued with an existing group of incredible women outside of church. I have traveled to other parts of the world and recorded my thoughts and photography in a book which has become a treasured memory for others as well. Through all of these I have a renewed consciousness about my life, my creativity and my spiritual being. This is something to celebrate as the year comes to an end. What have you accomplished in 2009? I hope you will take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments – regardless of how big or small. If you’re brave, you’ll share them in a comment to this blog.

And what possibilities lie in front of us? In Open Circles, we reflected on the question “Do you believe in imagining a life and then trying to live it”? We could ask a similar question about church life – is it possible to imagine the church we want to be and then have it happen? I, for one, believe that we create our experience of life – of church - through our attitudes and actions and the ways in which we react to things that happen around us. As a congregation, knowing we are here to renew ourselves, each other, and those beyond our walls, the possibilities are endless. What do you notice already? Like the hawk high on a pole, the birds in the shrubs, and the geese on the hill - great things are already happening – we just need to look around and see for ourselves.

In faith,

Nancy

Hope and change

I set out to walk one day last week with my son, contemplating “hope” – the theme for December for First U. We heard about it from Josh, we’ve discussed it at Open Circle meetings. As I walked, I noticed this large, old tree on a hill, soil eroded underneath it, holding on for dear life by its roots. That tree has hope, I thought. Hope to survive, somehow. Hope for things to stay the way they once were, maybe. It seems unlikely this tree will last forever – like most things in life. It will fall and return to the earth over years. There are cycles and things change. It’s the same way at church. We hang on for dear life to things we remember and cherish – and then we let go. The energy is focused elsewhere and we need to go where the energy is.

I joined the Board almost 5 years ago – filled with hope for our church. It was the first of what became 3 interim years before we would call a new senior minister. A time of upheaval – a time of change. I had faith that we would come through this challenging time – and flourish. Like the tree, our roots would hold us fast – to our principles, our values. Like the tree, we held on to our past. Like the tree, we moved on with the help of able ministers and leadership. It’s been a great time to be on the Board – and getting better. We’ve worked out some of the kinks of how we govern and are thinking a lot more about our future. Soon, we’ll be looking for people to cycle on to the Board, while 3 people cycle off. More change – new ideas. Ask us about it – you may find it’s just the rewarding experience you are seeking.

Speaking of seeking and hope – after a pretty good walk that took us from Mt. Lebanon Rd through the Brandywine Creek St. Park to Thompson’s Bridge, we decided to turn around and try the Rocky Run trail. According to the map (which we left at home, naturally), it looped up one side of a creek – Rocky Run, I suppose – and then across and back along the other side. As we climbed the hill, the trail soon became a small trickle of water, and then a shallow stream. We stepped from side to side, trying to avoid the obvious mud holes, and finally came to the point where we followed the trail down the hill to cross the creek. Hmm – no bridge. And the rocks were far enough apart that I was not willing to risk falling in with my precious camera. So – on we went, back up the hill, sure we would find a better place to cross. It was quite a while – and we found ourselves at a farm (later found it on the map near the corner of Woodlawn Rd and Thompson’s Bridge Rd). Back into the woods – over the creek at a safer place. Over another branch of the creek. Talk about hope. I was definitely hoping to find the “blue” trail that would lead us home.  Sometimes we meander through the unknown – and we find our way through, and out the other side, with new knowledge and new memories of our adventures. I like what Martin Luther King has to say about hope... "We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope." 

Safely at home, after hiking three and a half hours, I was definitely ready for a rest!

 

In faith,

Nancy

Feeling renewed

On Sunday, I listened to Lani present our long-range plan for the second time. Who are we? We are a church that renews – within, among and beyond. Simple – and memorable. And that is our focus now and for the next 3 to 5 years. It’s a great message. We come to our church for personal renewal – spiritually and ethically – so that we are whole and ready to support each other and do good work in the world. Our leaders – ministers and volunteers – are aligning around renewal this year. Are you experiencing this on Sunday mornings? Do you come away from your committee experiences feeling renewed? Have you joined an Open Circle or another form of small group? How are you connecting with others and renewing yourself?

The Board of Trustees is “small group” where we can also focus on renewal – in fact, we must. We have significant accountabilities for the welfare of the church AND we grow together in community. To lead, we must first have the strength to lead. We take care of each other. Such has been my experience this year. It is easy for the President to be swallowed up by the job. I am fortunate to have fellow Board members who care – and remind me to take care of myself. After all, there are nine of us doing this great work.

I have just returned for the 7th or 8th time this year from South Carolina, where Paul and I have been helping to look after aging parents. There have been three deaths in Paul’s family this year – and this was one of those trips. This is also a busy time for the Board – coming up on mid-year: planning for sessions to connect with the congregation, communicating the results of the long range planning effort, addressing our financial health at mid-year, reviewing audit results, beginning the process to bring on new Board members for next year, planning for next year’s budget, planning for the Annual meeting – and still managing the regular monitoring of our church operations and progress. With all that is going on, Board members readily step in to backfill for each other – and for me this time – so we have the time we need for personal care. It is a gift – and it is what our church is all about.

I just want to take this opportunity to thank my fellow Board members for this gift of renewal – and for our time together.

In faith,

Nancy

Milkweed and Renewal

It works. Breathing, that is. I brought a new inner calm and attitude to our Board meeting last week – one more about seeking understanding and less about telling, even while we were learning about concepts of governing a church. The tone of the meeting felt different to me, and I left feeling content we had done well. Good discussion, acknowledging our different views, and all hopefully coming away with more understanding than we had going in. No problems sleeping that night – no leftover chatter keeping me up.

I took some really great walks this week with Paul and Matt – Brandywine Creek State Park, the Russell Peterson Wildlife Refuge and then Ashland Nature Center on Sunday afternoon. I was particularly awestruck at the state of the woods at Ashland. Large, old trees were uprooted all along the way – evidence of our wet spring and high winds earlier, I suppose. It’s amazing to me to see such big and powerful trees, fallen to the ground. At this time of year, most of the green is gone, leaving a web of vines, totally encasing the trees. We walked along, leaves crunching under our feet – my camera in hand for recording the adventure. While walking through the woods, I spent a lot of time watching my step; never quite sure of what is under all those leaves – rocks, tree roots – things to trip me up. The trail was just barely visible, from people who had walked that way before us.

Each season brings its own beauty. I love the blowing reeds in the refuge area, the sun setting in the distance. And the signs of new life to come in the milkweed pod at Ashland, split open, soft – ready to send its seeds off to begin the next cycle of life. Trees that once toppled over have grown new shoots, reaching out from the shade of the woods towards the sun near the water. Red berries remain – food for the birds that remain over winter. The milkweed pod reminds me of our own renewal – individually and together. I’m feeling new energy in our congregation. New ways of connecting with each other.  New ways of living our values.  Are you feeling it, too?

Remembering to breathe

The impact of spiritual practice really hit home this week – basically because I let the week slip by without stopping to breathe. It was rainy most days – coldish – windy – and I was busy being busy. And I wasn’t feeling my best, besides. So I didn’t take any walks. I filled my days and evenings with important things to do, preparing for our first Board party with the congregation for the year. You see – as is my way – I was driven to take full advantage of this precious opportunity with our congregation. Along the way, though, I didn’t stop to breathe.


I had many chances -- I am blessed to have several different small groups I meet with from time to time – and it seemed like they all met last week: Open Circles, Women's Spirituality, Spirituality Writing, and another group of inspirational women.  There were clues during all these gatherings about this need to breathe. Early in the week I heard the perspective that meditation can occur in many forms - at most times. Still I didn’t take time to breathe. Others recounted how laughter is healing – and I recalled a time while commuting in rush hour traffic, that I forced myself to turn off the chatter in my brain and just smile – a big, tooth-revealing, smile. So silly - and I instantly felt better. Even more, I noticed a rainbow in the sky in front of me that I simply would have missed in my tense battle with the cars around me. And still I didn’t take time to breathe. On Thursday I spent time with my small group of inspirational women and I was reminded about perspective and letting go. I began to consider I should take time to breathe. On Saturday, in my spiritual writing class, I began to absorb the message – spiritual practice takes many forms. Allow the form to unfold – it’s the renewal that occurs that’s important. My weeklong headache began to subside. I spent two hours with this group of wonderful women, just writing and sharing. And I felt refreshed. So much more prepared to serve others.

If you were with the Board on Friday evening, you heard a bit about our long range plan. “Renewal within” is one component – and one I can personally relate to. When I’m busy being busy, the energy is sapped from my mind, body and spirit – and I am clearly not at my best for serving others. By taking the time to breathe – to intentionally renew within – I find I am better able to serve others and the challenges we face in this world. There’s a Board meeting tonight – and I have much to do to get ready. So I took a long walk this morning, on this beautiful day; sat by a stream and listened to the water running; closed my eyes and smelled the leaves, felt the breeze; and prepared myself for another great week.

In Faith,

Nancy

When is terrific not terrific?

Thank you for reading! And thanks to the 2nd and 3rd graders at First U, and their teachers, for inviting me to their class today to share a bit about my spiritual practice. It's an interesting thing, trying to convey what we adults do for ourselves in stories a young person might relate to. (In fact, it’s not so simple doing this with adults!)  Some of the children connected with feeling busy and needing some “time off” like I do. One of the young boys told of an experience of suddenly noticing a fox running through his yard – something out of the ordinary that caused him to take notice. That happens for me on my walks. I shared with them that I usually have some “niggling” problem or question that somehow seems to work itself out while walking in the fresh air.   Soon, they were off to try a walk outdoors on this beautiful day, in search of the trees that First U families had planted well before they were born, and to experiment with potential spiritual practices of their own.  I’m looking forward to hearing how it went.


This week I’ve been thinking about “reasonableness”.  It’s a key ingredient of the trust we have between the Board of Trustees and our church management, led by our Executive Team.  It's also a topic of conversation for our Board meeting this month.  The vision the Board has set for the church is quite broad– with many possible and reasonable interpretations of who is impacted and how to get there.

How do we say what’s reasonable?  Common sense?  Expectation of what is actually possible? Affordable?  Good enough?  I had a practical experience with this on one of my walks this week.  I planned a terrific walk along the Brandywine.  It was a beautiful day and I invited my family along to explore new territory with me.  We listened to the sounds of water rushing somewhere in the distance as we walked down the hill towards the river, leaves crackling under our feet.  My spirits were soaring. I love autumn.  And it was clear after some time that my interpretation of “terrific” was not necessarily shared.  We hadn’t brought water or snacks, and Paul’s recently-healed leg injury was reoccurring. “How long are you planning to walk?”  Oops – failed to clarify that I hoped to walk several hours!  We considered the many paths we could take to return to our car.  After choosing a route, Matt asked – “Is that the best way?”  I laughed to myself in light of my question on “what’s reasonable.”  It depends, of course, on your interpretation of best.  How do you measure it?  For Paul, best was the quickest way to water with the least stress on his hurting leg.  For me, best was the most beautiful way.  Both were reasonable interpretations.  We chose the quicker, flatter, and smoother option – and while not the most beautiful (to me) –in the end it was truly best for this day and circumstances.  Lesson learned – set clear expectations in the future.  Still, the walk was awesome even though it ended differently than I had envisioned.

When the Board considers how Rev. Josh, Rev. Barbara and Marina interpret our guidance to them on behalf of the congregation, it will not be one person’s view of “reasonable” that will matter.  It will be a collective understanding that guides our choices and possibly sends us back to the drawing board to clarify our expectations for the future. It’s the way we partner to do the work of our church.

Wasn’t today beautiful?  I am really thankful for the four seasons and being able to explore our wonderful world.

In faith,

Nancy

Through the Lens of Others

I did a lot of thinking this week about perspective – especially about being open to other perspectives from mine.  As an artist and photographer, I like to view my subjects from different perspectives.  If I just move a few feet one way or another, zoom in or out, or look at it in different lighting, the image sometimes transforms from ordinary to extraordinary.  Not everytime - but when it does, it's amazing - and well worth the time I spent.  In my interactions with people, it is not as easy as stepping from one side to the other.  But I can “zoom in” and focus on what's being said.  It usually means letting go of my tightly held views – some would say my attachments – long enough to hear that gem of an idea that transforms my thinking.  When I feel myself getting particularly stuck or emotional, it's a red flag telling me to let go and open up to what the people and the world around me have to offer.

So I've been practicing letting go. Here's what I noticed:

• When listening to a concern from a fellow congregant, a light bulb came on that transformed my ideas about how the Board could be using advisory committees to provide us with insights on our policies. 
• When a Board member asked about experimenting with the agenda for our meeting, I realized we could potentially transform the experience of our Board members by changing the way our meeting process flows. 
• While talking with a friend and congregant about our plans for the future of our congregation, I had a wake-up call about why many members may not be energized by “vision-speak” because of health problems, age or other personal circumstances which keep them focused on today and tomorrow and making the most of the short-term. 
• At least twice this week, I sent email which was received differently than I intended or expected, showing me once again how important it is to have that voice or facial expression to gauge our interactions with others, and how important it is to consider, consciously, the perspective of those I communicate with over email before I hit the send button. 
• And when my family members remarked on how they already had a specific conversation with me just the day before, it reminded me to stop what I'm doing and just be with them, listening to them, with the respect that is due to them.

Some of these seem so simple, so basic, so obvious. But isn't most of what we do?

In our congregation, it is one of the Board member's primary roles to listen to the perspectives of our members to help us to “frame” that picture of our future. Who do we want in our picture?  What will the image look like?  What are we willing to give in exchange to have that picture become a living reality? Whether you are someone who must only think about tomorrow or someone who likes to imagine a new future, you can share what you value enough in church and life to spend time to get it.  November 13th is one opportunity for First U members – all ages – and visitors to do this.  Check out church communications for the details.

Many thanks to all who have helped me broaden my perspective over the past week or so – and to those who will do so in the future.  You are helping me to be a better leader.  I hope I can return the favor.

In faith,

Nancy

What Difference?

Today I decided to walk somewhere different – a new route. The old route was getting too familiar – I found myself looking for the usual landmarks along the way, watching for the cracks in the pavement that could trip an unknowing walker. We all get in ruts – grooves that don’t allow for new possibilities. I do, for sure. Taking a new route adds the element of surprise – forces you to be more aware, more awake to life.

So I took off in the opposite direction, across a field and through a grove of young trees. The ground was wet from the rains we had over the weekend – and I had to change my path along the way to avoid the swampy ground and unexpected streams that crossed my way, as well as the “presents” left behind by animals that had strolled along the same path. It kept me on my toes, literally. I loved walking through the fallen leaves, dry now, rustling under my feet, blocking out the sounds of the lawn mowers and barking dogs along the way.

I was contemplating today’s sermon at First Unitarian by Rev. Josh Snyder – “What’s the Difference?” It’s one of the most important questions our Board of Trustees needs to ask (in my humble opinion) and yet it’s hard. And the way we have asked has not engendered much interest. As I was told last week, “it’s boring.” Turns out, at least from the perspective of that person, it’s how we ask that’s boring. Time to get out of that rut. Time to ask some different questions in new ways.

I am reminded of an email I received from my adult daughter last week. From time to time, she sends us the quotes she finds inside the lid of her bottle of tea, when she thinks we’ll find them interesting. This week’s quote was by John J. Plomp – “You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers." Here’s what she had to say about it: “I'm not quite sure what to think about this one, or if I agree with it. It seems to me that a lot of the things young children ask -- things like, 'Why is the sky blue?' -- have very interesting answers, and a lot of grown-up people ask things that are complete nonsense. On the other hand, you have brilliant adults who keep asking questions like children, ones that don't have answers *yet* (but could); and while they've managed to keep an open-eyed perspective, I still wouldn't say that they're not 'grown up'. I like to think that I can be a grown up and still ask questions whose answers can't be found on Google or Wikipedia, or might not even be the same for everyone.”

So let’s try this question. What difference do you hope Unitarian Universalism – and specifically First Unitarian – will make in the lives of your children or grandchildren? I hoped that my children would be comfortable asking the big questions of religion and life, as a result of attending our UU church. I hoped they would be prepared to make objective decisions on ethical issues. And I hoped that they would have respect for people who look different from them, believe differently from them, love differently from them, and think differently from them. When I hear my children having conversations like the one in my daughter’s email, I know that Unitarian Universalism has made a difference in their lives.

As I walked today, I was struck by the grove of trees I was passing as I crossed through the field. I suddenly woke up to the fact that these are the trees that were planted by First Unitarian children in the mid-1990’s – just seedlings back then. Some seedlings died, undoubtedly, but many have grown strong and tall. What difference did planting those trees have in the lives of those children? In the lives of their parents and their teachers? In the lives of the people in the community who now enjoy their multi-colored leaves of autumn? Being aware of the difference we want to make will help us to focus on programs and activities that will make it so.

In faith,

Nancy

Who among us is a born leader?

I am taking a web-based training course with other leaders from my Unitarian Universalist congregation and in our district on nurturing growth in congregations.  This week we discussed the importance of leadership to growth of our congregations and the question was posed, "Who among us is a born leader?"  Silence.  Why is that?  Everyone in the program is a leader - probably born leaders.  Are we just modest and don't want to say it out loud?  Are we afraid someone will ask us to do ONE MORE THING!

I'm a born leader.  Not something I say out loud much, if at all.  I credit my niece Katie and her Facebook entries with reminding me it's OK to set modesty aside to say this.  How do I know this?  For as long as I can remember, even as a young child, people have come to me for perspective.   People say "when she speaks, people listen."  I'm dependable and committed to those efforts I choose to lead or engage in.   Integrity is one of my "absolute" values that guides me in my day-to-day life.  I love the big picture - envisioning the future - and I'm good at assimilating various perspectives and data into something people can understand.  I try hard to listen to others and consider their points of view. And for whatever reason, I seem to like to take on crazy challenges - at work, at play, at church.  There are some aspects of leadership that are not innate for me - risk taking, mental toughness, and conflict management to name a few - and I'm working on them.  I have my attachments which can get in the way of good leadership - like wanting to be right.  Like everyone, I have lots of room for personal growth.

At church, as in my life outside of church, I am influenced by many wonderful people.  They are leaders, too, although some of them don't know it.  They are young and old alike, in positions of leadership and self-proclaimed followers.  They are our youth and our children.   They are our ministers, our staff and our volunteers.  They are on our Board and in our pews.  THEY SHOW UP.  They are diverse in their beliefs yet share a common faith and passion for making a difference in our world - however small it may seem.

Are you a leader?  I'm guessing you are.  And our congregation needs you and your unique skills and passions.  Together we can make such a difference for so many people.

Thank you for showing up.

In faith,

Nancy

Day 1 - Intentional Spiritual Practice and a New Blog is Born

Today I started an intentional daily spiritual practice – it consists of walking for an hour or so and clearing the cobwebs from my brain.  I actually started this practice – more or less – while on vacation with my husband Paul and my parents last week.   While in Maine and then Vermont, I awoke many mornings to the cool crisp air and headed out for a walk about town, reminding myself of my love of nature – trying to capture it with my camera, reminiscing about childhood memories, and just clearing my thoughts in preparation for another great day.  I have a special connection to these places and the people I’ve known in them. 

The word spiritual comes from the Latin, meaning “breath”.  For me, this is how the outdoors feels – walks through the woods, marveling at the rocky shoreline of Maine, smelling the salt air at the shore, riding my bike over “Big Round Top” in Gettysburg and sensing the importance of what went on there or to Rehoboth and back, knowing it will make a difference to someone with MS.  Or walking around my neighborhood – because it’s right there, easy – and I might even reconnect with someone I lost during the many years I spent long hours at the office.

So today I decided I will do this with intent.  The question of the day…why am I called to be President of First U and what difference do we make as a Board?  What difference do I make?  A likely question after our monthly Board meeting, and one I have most months.  Hmm…I am on the Board because some small group of people asked.  I don’t remember what they said their reason was, but I do remember I was working incredibly long hours in a stressful environment, and things at church at the time were rather in an uproar as well. Why do it?  Still, they asked me.  So I considered – was this the right time?  The short answer – yes.  I believed I had some skills and the passion to help us to work through whatever it was we were in, and so I agreed.  After three years, why re-up and become President?  Same reasons. 

It is tiring, though.  Last night, as is often the case, we struggled with too many important things to talk about in our 3-hour, once-a-month meeting.  So many thoughts and opinions – how do we bring them to some tangible conclusion?   If you were there, you would have experienced the start of a discussion about “spiritual maturity” – what is it, what difference does it make, is it for us at First U?  It’s a confusing topic for many UU’s.  According to our reading from “The Almost Church Revitalized” by Michael Durall (coming to our First U Bookstore soon), spiritual maturity looks like “the courage to act on our principles. This courage crosses all theological lines.”  He goes on to say “I believe such courage is more likely to occur among people in a faith community than individuals acting on their own.”  Do we strive for spiritual maturity in our church?  It’s a question the Board is wrestling with as it sets the vision of the church to help guide the Executive Team in their work to develop effective programs.  And yet it’s hard.  David put up the challenge – what does that really look like?  AND David is one of the most spiritually mature people I know.  Here’s what I have observed ….He is clear about his personal theological beliefs.  As an artist, he has a spiritual practice which helps him to express his innermost thoughts.  He is present – really present, asks important questions about who we are, participates in small groups, and in those things that he believes will make a difference in the lives of others.  Relationships and service to those in need beyond us are most important to him.  What can be more spiritually mature?  And it is independent of whether he has the same theology as Mike or Barbara sitting on either side of him.

When we look at how the Executive Team interprets the vision we’ve laid out, it brings out important questions.  We say we strive to be “a vibrant community of religious learning for people of diverse spiritual paths”.  That might translate to “People at First U come from different religious backgrounds and follow different religious practices” and if that is true for most, we are partially successful in achieving our mission.  Maggie asked a great question – is that what it really means?  Do we see diversity of theology in our church as a measure of success?  I wonder what the congregation would say.  As Cindy reminded us, varying groups of people might answer that question differently and it is critical that we reach all who would provide feedback.

And then there’s the question that often comes up by board members, this time by Marilyn – “Is it the Board’s role to set the vision, or is that what we brought Josh in to do?”  Where is the line in establishing the vision, ranging from turning it all over to the Sr. Minister to being highly directive so that there is no creativity left for the program staff.  This is one of the hardest questions a Board can invite to the table.  We’re all over the map on that one – as a diverse board should be, and as we expect the congregation is as well.  Today, we have 5 very broad vision statements which we delegate to the Executive Team for them to interpret in whatever reasonable way they want.  If we don’t like it, then we have more work to do to understand why we don’t like it and whether we need to be more specific.  It’s one of the hardest things we will do.

So, back to my walk.  While I didn’t sleep well last night, as has happened a lot this past year after board meetings – all those thoughts about how I could have done a better job – the discussion congealed for me and I saw the value in the discussion through the discomfort I felt.  I reminded myself … AGAIN… to love myself, no one’s perfect.   And I felt we made progress, however small, in discerning who we are as a church.   That, I believe, will make a difference.  Thanks to the Board members for their insights and challenges. 

In faith,

Nancy